Meal deals have become a British institution. The combinations are virtually limitless, and dedicated online communities have sprung up around them. People share their chosen selections for ratings, while countless tradespeople, office staff and others depend on these remarkably affordable and filling meals to sustain them through lunchtime. Meal deals are made up of a main course, ranging from sushi to pasta salad or a traditional sandwich, accompanied by a side option such as a fruit pot, yoghurt or packet of crisps, plus a drink.
I had a look at the available UK data to identify which meal deal combinations Brits favour most, then sample them myself. If these are the nation's top choices, surely they must be rather tasty? Not quite.
Based on the latest data from Tesco, the most popular meal combination nationwide is the Chicken Club Sandwich, the Egg Protein Pot and a Red Bull. Despite the vast array of choices on offer, Britain's favourite side item is two hard-boiled eggs that have been stored in a plastic container in the supermarket chiller for god knows how long. I ventured out during my lunch break to try this protein-packed, energy-boosting meal and discover what all the hype was about.
Having resided in the UK for two years, meal deals are hardly unfamiliar territory for me. Yet, the image of those two pallid eggs nestled in their plastic container beneath the unforgiving fluorescent lighting of my local Tesco has always unsettled me. I never imagined I'd actually eat them, but today was the day.
The eggs were submerged in roughly half a centimetre of greyish egg liquid which immediately made me queasy. The sandwich I selected needed to be as dry as possible to counterbalance the questionable egg moisture, so I examined each Chicken Club meticulously. One with mayonnaise oozing from every corner was rejected, as was another where the tomato had escaped the confines of the bread and spread across the crust, making it damp. My third option appeared sufficiently dry, so with my Red Bull in hand I made my way to the checkout to complete my purchase.
Upon returning home, I decided to tackle the most daunting element of my lunch first - the eggs. The plastic packaging was slightly distended and upon opening released a waft of sulphurous air. I foolishly brought the eggs close to my nose for a quick smell check and immediately wished I hadn't. The stench coming from these eggs ought to be classified as a war crime, and anyone who's consumed them in the office deserves to face justice at the Hague.
The peculiar egg liquid dripped onto my hand and a tear rolled down my cheek as I attempted my first mouthful. Given the odour, I'd anticipated the egg would be overcooked to oblivion with that strange greenish-grey tinge that appears when eggs are overdone, but it was actually a reasonable yellow colour. The consistency was grainy. The taste was farts.
I managed one mouthful before taking the eggs into the kitchen to offer to my mate. "That upsets me" was her reaction when I attempted to pass the eggs on to her. I disposed of them in the bin.
By contrast, the Chicken Club felt like a free holiday in Greece. I never imagined a straightforward chicken sandwich could deliver such happiness, but anything capable of eliminating the egg flavour from my palate would be gratefully received. It was fresh, nicely seasoned and not too soggy. My sole complaint is that six bread slices for lunch, accompanied by chicken, tomato, lettuce, cheese and bacon is slightly excessive - though it's a minor complaint. I nearly polished off the sandwich, but was defeated right at the finish when I encountered a piece of chicken that was oddly grainy.
The final portion of my sandwich also ended up in the bin, atop the eggs. The egg flavour continued to linger and when I exhaled through my nose I could still detect the whiff of sulphur. If anything's going to neutralise any remaining taste, it's the chemically laden, sugar-loaded Red Bull that constituted the final component of my lunch. While Red Bull has never been a particular favourite, this one was like ambrosia. It was sweet, delicious and the 52,398 mg of caffeine straight to my bloodstream made putting this review together an absolute breeze.
The meal deal culture is something to be admired and respected - however, those egg pots have well and truly outstayed their welcome. It's safe to say a packet of crisps will be the preferred option going forward.
