The ultimate dating ick: When AI replaces authentic connection
What began as a seemingly perfect wedding venue discovery has evolved into one of modern dating's most controversial deal-breakers. At a rustic-chic barn in Oregon wine country, surrounded by the atmosphere of stealth wealth, one wedding guest received an unexpected confession from the groom-to-be: he'd found their dream venue using ChatGPT.
The revelation sparked an immediate internal reaction that would crystallise into a firm relationship boundary. "If my future spouse came to me with wedding input courtesy of ChatGPT, there would be no wedding," the individual resolved, despite maintaining polite external composure.
From smoothie sipping to AI outsourcing: The evolution of dating icks
While traditional relationship non-negotiables typically include smoking preferences, pet compatibility, or family planning aspirations, a new criterion has emerged among dating circles. As warnings about AI's societal impact dominate news feeds and party conversations, refusing to date ChatGPT users has become a legitimate relationship filter.
This isn't merely getting "the ick" - that inexplicable turn-off once reserved for behaviours like watching someone drink a smoothie through a straw. By autumn 2025, using generative AI for even benign tasks like planning fitness routines or choosing outfits has become a political statement with real-world consequences.
The concerns are multifaceted: energy-intensive technology draining water supplies, rising electricity bills, and the replacement of genuine human connection with algorithmic companionship. The fundamental question emerges: does individual convenience justify the broader societal harm?
Chatfishing and breakfast dates: AI's impact on modern romance
The dating landscape has become increasingly complicated by AI integration. New York-based dating and relationship coach Ali Jackson reports that "every one" of her clients has complained about "chatfishing" in the past six months - people using AI to generate everything on their dating profiles, including direct messages.
One particularly telling incident involved a morning-after breakfast suggestion that resulted in a man consulting ChatGPT for restaurant recommendations rather than engaging in mutual decision-making. This outsourcing of even enjoyable choices raises concerns about long-term relationship effort and engagement.
Jackson confirms that while judging ChatGPT users might limit dating pools - approximately 10% of adults now use the technology - it's a valid preference if it aligns with personal values. "Ask yourself if your preference is truly serving your long-term goals," she advises.
Beyond dating: The growing resistance to AI dependence
The aversion extends beyond romantic relationships. Ana Pereira, a 26-year-old sound engineer from Brooklyn, describes ChatGPT use as demonstrating "such a laziness" that suggests an inability for independent thought. Her perspective hardened when friends' relationship breakdown involved one partner turning to ChatGPT instead of their significant other for emotional discussions.
Richard Barnes, a 31-year-old marine biologist and server in Hawaii, expresses similar weariness about unnecessary AI reliance. "Your life is probably not that hard. We can make the list together," he remarks about grocery list generation.
Even within the tech industry, resistance is growing. Pinterest recently introduced filters allowing users to disable AI content, while Meta enables muting similar features on Instagram. The Information reported rising "cursor resistance" among Silicon Valley technologists refusing AI assistance for coding.
Luciano Noijeen, a 27-year-old lead software engineer based in Greece and the Netherlands, discovered his own coding abilities diminished after becoming dependent on AI assistance. His solution was to drastically reduce AI use, even questioning friends who consult ChatGPT for simple decisions like meeting locations.
As high-profile figures from Guillermo del Toro to SZA publicly criticise generative AI, and dating app profiles explicitly state ChatGPT use as a deal-breaker, the conversation about technology's role in human connection continues to evolve. The question remains whether convenience ultimately enhances or undermines the authenticity we seek in our relationships.
