An American man residing in the United Kingdom has shared a candid revelation about a significant cultural misstep he made during his first dining experience at a UK restaurant, admitting he learned a "hard lesson" about manners.
The Restaurant Faux Pas That Caused Dirty Looks
Russ, who documents his life after moving to the UK on social media, explained the incident in an Instagram video posted on 28 December 2025. He described going for a meal with his girlfriend at a favoured Italian restaurant shortly after his arrival.
The trouble began, he recounted, when the waitress asked for their drink order. Russ replied, "We'll have some water," omitting the word "please." He noticed the server give a short "Sure" while looking at her notepad, and his girlfriend shot him a look he initially dismissed.
The situation escalated when ordering food. "I said, 'I'll have the Napoli pizza'," Russ explained. This time, the waitress responded with a clear dirty look. Still unaware, he compounded the error later by stating, "We'll take the bill," again without a "please." It was this final phrase that prompted his girlfriend to stare at him "as if I had killed somebody."
A Transatlantic Divide in Service Culture
His partner promptly informed him he had been "incredibly rude" by not saying "please" or "thank you" to the waitress at any point during the service. This moment led to a stark realisation for Russ about differing norms.
"It was in that moment I realised that wait staff culture is completely messed up in the US," he reflected. "You could be the kindest, most respectful person, but in the US, it's almost never commonplace to throw in please or thank you where they should be. It's almost as if we've been trained like we're ordering from robots."
He expressed bewilderment at his own behaviour, noting he uses pleases and thank yous diligently in bakeries and grocery stores, but the instinct faltered in a restaurant setting. He has since corrected his manners.
Online Reaction Highlights a Cultural Gulf
The video sparked considerable discussion, with many UK-based commenters expressing surprise that such basic politeness could be overlooked. One person stated the anecdote made them "squirm," while another called it a "massive red flag" in a partner.
However, some American viewers contested the broad characterisation, insisting they always use please and thank you with service staff, suggesting the experience might not be universal across the US.
The incident underscores that despite a shared language, subtle but important cultural differences in daily interactions can catch visitors off guard. For those travelling between the US and UK, awareness of these unspoken social codes, especially around service industry interactions, remains crucial to avoiding unintended rudeness.
