A mother has spoken for the first time about the heart-wrenching death of her baby daughter, Zoe, who was murdered by nurse Lucy Letby, expressing profound guilt for falling asleep during the attack.
Helpless Witness to a Tragedy
In a new Netflix documentary titled The Investigation of Lucy Letby, the mother, referred to as Sarah, recounts the moment she watched helplessly as doctors fought desperately to save her two-day-old daughter. "My husband and I just broke down," she said. "We were just saying, 'what’s going on? What's just happened?' I was just so angry and so sad and so confused."
A Birth Turned Nightmare
Zoe was born on June 20, 2015, at the Countess of Chester Hospital after Sarah's waters broke three weeks early. Following a gruelling 60-hour labour, Sarah insisted on a cesarean, and the baby was immediately rushed to intensive care. "It was hard looking at her in the incubator," Sarah recalled. "I couldn't take her out, but I was able to hold her hand. She was so fragile, small and precious, I became a mummy. The doctors were telling us that she was responding very well, that she was responding as expected, and there were no concerns."
The Sudden Panic and Loss
The horror unfolded when Sarah was fast asleep and a nurse urgently woke her. "She said, 'You need to come right now'. I asked, 'what's going on?' And she said, 'there’s no time we need to go'," Sarah described. She was wheeled down a long corridor, feeling panic in the room as a doctor tried everything to keep Zoe's heart pumping. "The other doctor put her hand on his shoulder and said, 'You need to stop, you need to let her go'. The doctor was still holding Zoe, but he stopped what he was doing. That was it. It was finished. It was over."
Discovery of a Killer
Dr John Gibbs notes in the documentary that Zoe's death was the third in just over two weeks at the hospital’s neonatal unit. Later, Sarah received a call from police informing her of an arrest in connection with the baby’s death. "All of a sudden I realised someone could have purposely targeted my child," she said. "We were just completely lost for words."
Recognising the Face of Evil
When Sarah saw Letby’s picture on the news, she immediately recognised her. "As soon as I saw her face I recognised the nurse straight away. When I visited Zoe for the last time she had a clipboard but she wasn’t really doing any jobs. She was just there, watching us."
The Trial and Confrontation
Preparing for the trial was immensely challenging for Sarah. "There wasn’t a day I wasn’t thinking about Zoe," she said. "I wanted to do her justice, but I didn’t want to go to trial and be biased. I knew Lucy Letby was going to take the stand so I needed to face her." During the trial, Sarah sat just three metres away from Letby. "She looked at me a dozen times, staring. Every time she looked at me I’d have to look down."
Letby's Chilling Memory Lapse
In police interviews, Letby, 36, from Hereford—who is serving 15 whole-life orders for murdering seven infants and attempting to murder seven others between June 2015 and June 2016—said "I don’t really remember" when asked about baby Zoe’s death. The investigation found she had searched the names of Zoe’s parents on Facebook after the death. In court, Letby recalled details of almost all the 17 children she was accused of harming, except one. "When she was asked if she remembered Zoe she paused, and then she said 'no'," Sarah recounted. "The whole room went sort of … Listening to all the evidence around Zoe’s death was very painful."
Guilt and Anger
Upon Letby's conviction, Sarah felt a mix of emotions. "I felt relieved, happy and then instantly broken because now this is true and I can’t escape this reality." She also expressed deep guilt: "I felt I needed to say sorry to my daughter. In my head I failed as a mum. I was asleep when this was happening. I stayed up all throughout the painful labour, birth, and when she needed me I wasn’t there. This is not something I can forgive myself."
Outrage at Political Insensitivity
Sarah revealed anger at a press conference where Tory MP David Davis introduced Dr Shoo Lee, a retired Canadian neonatologist, as 'the star of the show' while questioning Letby’s conviction. "This is not a show. There is no star. There is nothing to smile about," she said. "The audacity from a politician to introduce someone like this. It is disgusting." She was given no warning that her daughter’s case would be discussed at the conference.
Finding Hope Amidst Sorrow
Despite the tragedy, Sarah finds hope and love for Zoe. "There’s no getting over any of this, there’s the sorrow but there’s the hope and love we have for her," she said. "Ultimately we’re still here and I want to count my blessings and appreciate what I have. I was strong enough to try again. My husband and I have a beautiful son. He is our reason for everything." She has always talked to her son about Zoe, explaining that she died as a baby and is in heaven. "It’s been storm after storm and it’s not over. But I want to make it through."
