Ancient African Wisdom on Sexual Freedom: A Journey Through Rites and Rituals
Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah has chronicled her transformative journey across Africa in a compelling new book, Seeking Sexual Freedom: African Rites, Rituals and Sankofa in the Bedroom. Through intimate conversations with women, she uncovers how reclaiming pre-colonial traditions can foster joy and liberation in contemporary sexual practices.
A Personal Odyssey into Sexual Enlightenment
In Dar es Salaam, Sekyiamah found herself in an Airbnb kitchen, wrapped in a kanga cloth, attempting seductive dance lessons with Zaishanga, a traditional sex educator known as a somo or kungwi. Though she never mastered the moves, the experience was enlightening. Zaishanga, or Auntie Zai, teaches at "kitchen parties," where older women share wisdom on marriage, self-care, and beauty, rooted in centuries-old rites of passage into womanhood.
However, these traditions have been diluted by colonisation and modernism, becoming "too western," as Zaishanga notes. She recalls learning touch through massage and pubic hair removal with hot ash as a teenager, contrasting it with today's tamer teachings. At 53, Zaishanga revitalises these gatherings, charging a small fee and aiming to build a global profile like Oprah Winfrey's, offering sex education to millions.
Documenting Desires and Discovering Freedom
Sekyiamah's first book, The Sex Lives of African Women, featured over 30 stories from diverse women, with older and queer individuals epitomising sexual freedom—defined as feeling at home in one's body, secure in sexuality, and free to explore desire with consenting adults. Inspired, she embarked on a quest to explore how ancient wisdom, passed through rites and rituals, can guide modern sexual joy. This odyssey is detailed in her new work, applying the Akan philosophy of sankofa, meaning "go back and take it," to reclaim traditions with feminist principles, termed "feminist sankofa."
Traditional Rites and Their Modern Relevance
In Ghana, Sekyiamah witnessed the dipo rite for Krobo women, where girls parade with shaved heads, beads, and subue undergarments believed to enhance sex by keeping genitals warm. Bead colours convey messages: white for purity, yellow for maturity, blue for value. While some view dipo as regressive, participants like one young woman found pride in the communal experience and lessons in social harmony. Nkiru Nzegwu's essay, Osunality: or the African Erotic, highlights how such "schools" fostered female identity and sexuality transmission, though they often reinforced patriarchy.
Challenges and Aspirations for Sexual Education
As politics shift rightward and anti-rights groups oppose comprehensive sex education, open dialogue about bodies and pleasure becomes crucial. Sekyiamah dreams of creating feminist puberty rituals, where girls learn about pleasure for personal wellbeing, not to attract men, and understand gender and sexuality as spectrums. Despite 31 African countries banning same-sex relationships, many, like Chido from Zimbabwe, reclaim ancestral practices to affirm queer identities, while Adeola, an Isese practitioner, notes African gods' multidimensionality as a model for human diversity.
Embracing Pleasure as a Birthright
Sekyiamah's journey affirms that pleasure is a universal birthright, accessible regardless of ability, gender, or sexuality. By drawing inspiration from African ancestors, we can treasure sexuality and lead more fulfilling lives. Seeking Sexual Freedom is published in the UK by Dialogue Books on 12 March and in the US by Atria Books on 5 March, offering a profound exploration of cultural heritage and personal liberation.
