From Heartbreak to 75 First Dates: A Senior's Journey to Love
At 66, Zack Rogow faced the end of a long-term relationship with a mix of grief and euphoria. Determined not to live alone, he joined an online dating site, launching into a whirlwind of 75 first dates over 18 months. This journey, filled with outdoor walks, wine bar meetings, and cinematic outings, became a meticulous process as Rogow kept notes on each woman's career and family to avoid missteps. "I knew I didn't want to live alone. I knew I wanted a long-term relationship," he explains, citing his melancholy streak that deepens in solitude.
A Creative Upbringing and Dating Relearning
Rogow, now 73, grew up in New York City in a household that valued creativity "above all." His father died in a plane crash when he was three, and his mother, whom he describes as likely bipolar, raised him and his sister before taking her own life when Rogow was 19. Following in his father's footsteps, Rogow works as a writer and editor for a law firm part-time, while also pursuing poetry, memoirs, and translations. His lack of recent dating experience—having met his ex-partner in a carpool decades earlier—left him unfamiliar with modern etiquette, leading to awkward moments like receiving a "scorecard" critique on his first date.
The Rollercoaster of Rejection and Self-Discovery
The dating marathon was not without its challenges. Two dates evolved into brief affairs, but one ended painfully when a woman asked, "Do you ever wear jeans?" This comment stung, prompting Rogow to question his appeal and update his wardrobe. "It's a rollercoaster when you're dating. Your hopes are very high and they can be dashed very quickly," he reflects. Despite these setbacks, he persisted, driven by a desire for companionship and warmth.
Finding Love and Inspiration in Literature
In 2019, during his 73rd first date phase, Rogow attended a book launch for his translation of Isabelle Stibbe's Bérénice 1934–44: An Actress in Occupied Paris. There, he met a friend of a friend who shared his love for literature, leading to a connection that blossomed into a lasting relationship. Together, they enjoy travel and physical activity, blending families—Rogow has three children, and his partner has two, with both recently becoming grandparents.
The Kama Sutra for Senior Citizens: A Poetic Exploration
From this secure relationship emerged Rogow's new poetry collection, The Kama Sutra for Senior Citizens. The title challenges societal taboos around senior sexuality, aiming to celebrate intimacy and pleasure in later life. "Some people might flinch at the idea of seniors having sex. But one of the things I wanted to explore is senior sexuality and how it's different and pleasurable and a positive part of life," Rogow says. He contrasts the exotic positions of youth with the accessible joys of aging, emphasizing intimacy and release.
Looking Ahead with Hope and Connection
Rogow hopes for continued health and wellbeing to deepen family ties and enjoy shared passions. His story serves as an inspiration for those seeking new beginnings after 60, proving that love and creativity can flourish at any age. The Kama Sutra for Senior Citizens … and Other Poems on Aging is available from Valley Press, inviting readers to reflect on their own journeys of aging and connection.
