Supermodel Jodie Kidd's fiancé, Joseph Bates, has courageously shared intimate details of his ongoing battle with alcohol dependency, including a candid admission about his unsuccessful attempt to reintroduce drinking after nine months of abstinence.
A Candid Confession on Social Media
The 40-year-old former Royal Marine, who has been engaged to the 47-year-old catwalk icon since 2021, took to Instagram to reflect openly on his complex relationship with alcohol. He described how drinking consistently brought out undesirable traits in his personality and behaviour.
'I stopped drinking last year for nine months,' Joseph wrote. 'I struggled with alcohol - not so much the amount I drank (although I did go for it often), but more with how it affected how I felt and, more importantly, how I treated others.'
He elaborated further, explaining: 'Selfishness, self-doubt, and negative tendencies always crept in when alcohol was thrown into the mix, so I decided to stop.'
The Failed Attempt at Moderation
After maintaining sobriety for three quarters of a year, Joseph - who has been in a relationship with pub landlord Jodie since 2017 - attempted to reintroduce alcohol consumption last summer. He believed his extended period of abstinence had fundamentally changed his relationship with drinking.
'It had been long enough without it, so surely I had changed?' he questioned in his social media post. 'Surely my monk-like thinking would never allow the 'regret fuel' to take hold again and drag me back to my historic negative ways?'
He continued with painful honesty: 'Oh dear. How wrong I was. After my sober lubricant renaissance, all the thoughts came flooding back. Negative self-worth and impostor syndrome ran through my veins, and I was suddenly feeling like I had years ago.'
Joseph offered a sobering perspective on alcohol's progressive nature for certain individuals: 'Alcohol is a medically proven progressive tissue for those who experience detrimental thoughts and take detrimental actions when consuming it - aka, you get worse at it the more you practise it.'
Life in Sobriety
Following that unsuccessful experiment with moderation, Joseph revealed he has maintained complete sobriety since last summer's experience. The entrepreneur, who started dating Jodie in 2017 after they met through fundraising for a military charity, described this period as essential for understanding his relationship with alcohol.
'Since that so-called renaissance last summer, I haven't drunk again,' he confirmed. 'And honestly, I needed to revisit it to fully understand my allergy to it.'
He emphasised that meaningful change requires genuine commitment: 'Drastic change only happens when you truly want it. So how is life now without the oops potion, memory eraser, and bad-decision fluid? Incredible.'
The Transformative Effects of Sobriety
The CEO of online therapy platform Halen went on to describe the profoundly positive impact that sobriety has had on his overall wellbeing and quality of life.
'I've never felt so content across all aspects of my life - work, family, and everything else my strange mind, body, and spirit interacts with,' Joseph shared.
He highlighted both cognitive and perceptual benefits: 'It's not just the clarity of thought it gives you, but the clarity of awareness - the ability to witness the most beautiful things you'd previously miss because the chimp in your mind was going absolutely wild.'
Joseph concluded his heartfelt message with words of encouragement for others facing similar struggles: 'I'm simply writing this for anyone who has tried - or wanted - to kick alcohol but couldn't. For those who know it doesn't make them feel like the best version of themselves. Trust yourself. Trust the universe.'
Relationship and Personal Background
Joseph proposed to Jodie during a romantic trip to Paris in 2021, though the couple have yet to formalise their wedding plans. The former Top Gear star previously revealed that her partner's proposal came unexpectedly while she was soaking in the bath at their hotel.
'I thought he was bending down to have a chat with me, but suddenly he came out with it,' she recalled at the time. 'I was a bit shocked.'
In 2024, Jodie admitted they had placed their wedding arrangements on hold due to demanding work schedules. She told OK! magazine: 'Oh my god, it is going very slowly. Very slowly! Nothing is happening in the immediate future and not because I don't want it to, but I am just so busy.'
The model, who became owner of The Half Moon pub in Kirdford, West Sussex in 2017, has previously been married twice - first to internet entrepreneur Aidan Butler for 18 months until 2007, and then to author David Blakeley for just four months in 2015. She shares a 14-year-old son, Indio, with her ex-partner, Argentinian polo player Andrea Vianini.
Military Background and Mental Health Advocacy
Joseph, who served with UK Special Forces including the Special Boat Service in Afghanistan, experienced significant personal tragedy when he lost his father to Pick's disease (a form of Alzheimer's) at age 17, which influenced his decision to join the Royal Marines.
After leaving military service, he co-founded Halen, an innovative app that provides accessible therapy and mental health support. This entrepreneurial venture draws directly from his personal experiences with psychological challenges following his combat service.
Jodie has previously praised her fiancé's calming influence, noting: 'With his military background, he hasn't got any issues or ego. He brings a wonderful calm to my wonderfully bonkers life.'
The couple initially connected when Jodie was raising money for a military charity, and she later invited Joseph to join her in Dominica to assist with Hurricane Irma relief efforts in 2017, marking the beginning of their relationship.
