Susan Lucci Breaks Silence on Emmy Award Losing Streak in Candid Memoir
Television icon Susan Lucci has finally addressed one of Hollywood's most enduring mysteries in her newly released memoir La Lucci. The 79-year-old actress, best known for her legendary portrayal of Erica Kane on All My Children, provides intimate details about her emotional journey through an unprecedented 18 consecutive losses at the Daytime Emmy Awards for Outstanding Lead Actress.
The Emotional Toll of Repeated Disappointment
In her memoir published this Tuesday, Lucci confronts the question she has faced for decades: how did she cope with losing the prestigious award year after year? Her response is characteristically direct and honest. "I am frequently asked how I felt not to win the Emmy all those years? That's easy! Not great," Lucci writes, acknowledging the genuine emotional impact of repeatedly hearing another actress's name called during the ceremony.
The actress reveals that after her ninth loss, she developed what she describes as an emotional defense mechanism to protect herself from the disappointment. "My hearing went numb," she explains. "I listened, but I didn't hear. I was always happy for my colleagues, who were also doing wonderful work, but I think it was more of a self-protective reaction so I wouldn't feel bad or get my hopes up too much."
Dispelling Decades of Rumours and Speculation
What Lucci is particularly emphatic about in her memoir is correcting the record regarding her behaviour after the cameras stopped rolling. She firmly denies the persistent rumours of backstage meltdowns or dramatic reactions that have circulated for years. "Despite any rumors to the contrary, there were never any behind-the-scenes meltdowns after the show or moments of breaking things because I hadn't been awarded the Emmy," she clarifies, putting to rest decades of speculation about how she handled television's most infamous award-show losing streak.
Instead of dramatic scenes, Lucci describes returning home to what truly mattered: her family. She would be greeted by her children, Liza Huber (now 50) and Andreas Huber (now 36), whom she shared with her late husband Helmut Huber. The family welcomed her with "lots of hugs and kisses," homemade signs, balloons, handwritten notes, poems, and freshly baked chocolate cake. "Any one of these was more valuable than that elusive Emmy!" Lucci quips, before adding with characteristic wit, "Having said that, winning felt pretty darn good. Winning is definitely better!"
The Long-Awaited Triumph and Career Reflections
That historic victory finally arrived in 1999 when Lucci won the Daytime Emmy on her 19th nomination. Overcome with emotion during her acceptance speech, she thanked her peers, family, teachers, and All My Children creator Agnes Nixon. "This is a room full of such talented hardworking people, and the fact that you have thought that my work was worthy of notice 19 times is something that I will treasure always," she told the audience at the time.
Lucci also paid tribute to the show's devoted fans, noting the unexpected longevity of her character. "To the fans, I was only supposed to be on every other Tuesday. But thanks to you, I'm here and I promise I will try my best never to let you down," she vowed, promising to return to work the following Monday and play the iconic character "for all she's worth."
The actress portrayed Erica Kane for the entirety of All My Children's run on ABC, from 1970 until its cancellation in 2011—a moment she describes in her memoir as deeply painful. "The cancellation of our show was such a devastating outcome for so many, from our fans to our All My Children family," she writes. "In a way, it felt like a horrible divorce - one I didn't see coming or want."
A Lasting Love Story and Personal Tributes
The memoir also revisits Lucci's enduring love story with Helmut Huber, whom she honoured again in December 2023 while accepting her Lifetime Achievement Award. With their son Andreas in the audience, Lucci described having her family present as "the icing on the cake." She grew emotional as she thanked her late husband, saying, "I feel your dad's presence here with us tonight too. Helmut was the love of my life. They say that grief is the price we pay for love. Well, grief is an excruciating price but I would not give up even one second of the love."
Lucci goes on to describe Huber, who also served as her manager and the CEO of Pine Valley Productions, as a "larger than life force of nature," praising his humour, devotion, and unwavering belief in her career throughout their 52-year marriage until his passing in 2022.
Through her candid reflections in La Lucci, the television legend provides not only a behind-the-scenes look at one of entertainment's most remarkable careers but also a testament to resilience, family values, and professional perseverance in the face of repeated public disappointment.
