Gianluigi Buffon, the legendary former Italy goalkeeper, has opened up about a panic attack he experienced before a Juventus match against Reggina in February 2004, an episode that he says threatened his career. In an exclusive extract from his autobiography 'Saved', Buffon describes the moment of crisis that left him struggling to breathe and feeling a sense of fear he did not understand.
A Crisis Before Kickoff
The match took place on a wet and cold winter evening in Turin, with the stadium half-empty. Buffon recalls feeling an unusual tightness in his diaphragm during the warm-up, which escalated into difficulty breathing once he stood in goal. 'I felt a sense of fear that I did not understand,' he writes. 'When you have a panic attack, you don't know you're having a panic attack. When you have a panic attack you think you're going to die.'
Buffon approached goalkeeping coach Ivano Bordon and asked him to prepare reserve goalkeeper Antonio Chimenti. Bordon, remaining calm, told Buffon: 'Don't worry, Gigi, you don't have to play.' This phrase, Buffon says, freed him from the oppression of duty and gave him the possibility of choice. 'You aren't obliged to' allowed him to breathe more easily and manage the situation.
Facing the Fear
After walking alone for a few minutes, Buffon decided to play, telling himself: 'The game lasts 90 minutes, you stay on the pitch for 90 minutes; then, when you are at home, you will continue to feel bad, you will die, and fuck everything.' He played the match, making a crucial save from Ciccio Cozza in the first half, and Juventus won 1-0.
Buffon reveals that the panic attack was part of a broader period of mental struggle. For months, he had been sleeping badly, waking up with negative thoughts about disappointing his parents and fans, and feeling that he was throwing away his career. He spoke about his feelings with close friends and Juventus doctor Riccardo Agricola, who eventually suggested it could be depression.
Learning to Live with Discomfort
The experience taught Buffon that he would have to learn to live with this discomfort. 'I couldn't always be on the edge of disaster searching for some extra bursts of adrenaline in order to play,' he writes. The news of his episode leaked out, but he found it hard to explain what happened because the word 'panic' was not part of his vocabulary.
Buffon's autobiography 'Saved' is available now. The book offers a candid look at the mental health challenges faced by elite athletes and the importance of seeking support.
