At the age of 51, Ben Collins is preparing to step into his first role as a junior doctor, marking the culmination of a radical four-year career transformation. The former ABC journalist from Western Australia's Kimberley region has traded reporting for a stethoscope, embarking on what he describes as the most stressful yet satisfying achievement of his adult life.
From Newsroom to Dissection Room: A Radical Transformation
Collins began studying medicine at 47, quickly realising it was unlike any previous experience. Feelings of fear and ineptitude were constant companions as he was thrust into challenging clinical situations. The journey involved breaking every norm of polite society: poking, probing, and examining strangers in their most intimate moments. He has been baptised by every bodily fluid, examined cadavers, and sorted through a bucket of human hearts.
"At first, just asking a patient about her depression seemed paralysingly inappropriate," Collins recalls. He questioned his right to intrude into a stranger's private world. Yet, he was met with remarkable patience from patients who understood his need to learn, with many uttering the forgiving phrase: "You've got to learn somehow."
Confronting Fear and Finding Purpose in Patient Care
The transformation became most apparent when his perspective on certain procedures shifted dramatically. He once protested against digital rectal examinations, believing them traumatic and unhelpful. However, a urology professor demonstrated how the procedure could be performed with minimal discomfort and provide critical diagnostic information. Feeling a hard, lumpy, asymmetrical prostate that was clearly cancerous was a pivotal moment, revealing how the exam could be life-saving.
Collins expresses ongoing terror now that he can no longer claim to be "just a student," which previously minimised expectations. He hasn't fully come to terms with calling himself a doctor, fearing it sounds somewhat fraudulent. Yet, he admits to being "pretty thrilled" about his new path.
Glimpses of Mastery and the Weight of Responsibility
Among the exhaustion and anxiety, there are profound rewards. Collins finds himself in the front row for life's most extraordinary moments: the birth of a child, the devastating diagnosis of a brain tumour. He acknowledges the immense responsibility of finding words for someone facing their own mortality.
Occasionally, the "fog of ignorance and insecurity" parts. He recalls watching a seasoned paediatrician diagnose a serious seizure disorder from a mere three-second video of a baby's subtle movements. A year later, in an emergency department, he assessed a baby with similar movements and, remembering that prior case, was able to suggest the diagnosis to his supervising doctor. Knowing he may have helped secure early treatment to prevent a lifetime of disability is a thought he holds onto tightly.
Looking back on resigning from his career as a small-town journalist, Collins feels a potent mix of excitement, pride, and exhaustion. He views this not just as a career change, but as an achievement that sets him up for what he hopes will be a very rewarding 20-odd years in medicine.
