A Holiday Revelation: Confronting Identity Beyond Leicester's Diversity
At 24, fresh from university graduation, Manish Chauhan embarked on what seemed like an ordinary holiday to Ireland. A friend had used dissertation prize money to rent a beach hut on Valentia Island, offering a week of focused novel writing amidst rugged coastal beauty. The stone hut perched near the water's edge, overlooking the vast Atlantic, while cliff edges and lush rainforests provided a stunning backdrop. The tranquillity was exactly what they sought, but this trip would unveil a profound personal awakening.
The Unsettling Realisation of Standing Out
Between writing sessions, explorations took them through Killarney and to Derrynane beach, where they rode horses along golden sands. After days of this, a quiet realisation dawned: they had not encountered a single person of colour. Coming from England, Chauhan had unconsciously expected the familiar diversity of home. One afternoon, stopping at a local convenience store, the young woman behind the till looked up with visible shock upon seeing him. Her reaction suggested he might be the first person of colour she had ever seen in person. "I bought what I needed and left," he recalls, "but later I found myself thinking about that encounter. It was the first time in my life where I had felt as though I stood out."
Growing Up in Leicester's 'Super Diverse' Bubble
Chauhan's upbringing in Leicester, one of England's first "super diverse" cities where minorities form the majority, had shaped his worldview. School photographs showed "a sea of brown faces," leading him to believe Leicester was a blueprint for England, perhaps even the wider world. His sense of self was strong, albeit built within a bubble. "My upbringing wasn't truly diverse, either," he admits, "since I was primarily surrounded by people from a similar background, racially and socioeconomically."
Contemplating Family History and Immigrant Experiences
Back at the beach hut, Chauhan began reflecting on his family's immigrant journey. His grandfather arrived in England from Africa in the 1950s, when Leicester had only a handful of non-white residents. His mother came from India in the early 1960s, followed by many others drawn to the expanding community. "Had they felt invisible? Had they felt as though they stood out?" he wondered. By comparison, his own experience of otherness felt temporary, yet it sparked deeper introspection.
The Balloon Analogy: Expansion, Contraction, and Finding Balance
In subsequent years, Chauhan developed an analogy of people as balloons, their sense of self expanding or contracting based on circumstances and location. His formative years in Leicester represented a comfortable, empowering expansion, where he naively felt part of the majority. The Irish holiday forced a contraction, bringing "alarm at my own insignificance" – akin to a king discovering his castle is merely a small room within a vast one. Moving to Hertfordshire for university and later London exposed him to global diversity, allowing existence in a "comfortable middle" without extreme shifts.
Broader Reflections on Fear, Identity, and Social Unrest
This journey fostered empathy and perspective. Observing events like the 2024 summer riots and Tommy Robinson's "unite the kingdom" rally, Chauhan saw how contracted self-perception can lead to destruction. Beneath chants and violence, he recognised a fear of losing footing in one's homeland – a fear familiar to every immigrant. "Being raised in Leicester gave me the strength to recognise my power and privilege and to fight for it," he states, "while that short trip in my 20s gave me a glimpse into my own insignificance." He concludes that a meaningful life requires experiencing both expansion and contraction.
