A Reporter's Struggle with Faith Amid Church Abuse Revelations
Jason Berry, the journalist who broke the story of the US Catholic clergy abuse scandal, now reflects on his personal struggle to maintain his faith. He ponders how to repair a religious structure long perceived as good, yet supported by an evil underside. In 1965, as a junior at the Jesuit high school in New Orleans, Berry had an epiphany during football practice, questioning why he was doing something he disliked. He quit the team, feeling guilt for dereliction of duty, but found solace in other activities like golf and writing for the school paper.
The Jesuits fostered a fraternal culture, molding lifelong friendships and emphasizing Socratic thinking. This approach, encouraging students to be "men for others," deeply influenced Berry's spiritual journey. However, he had no idea how this ethos would intersect with the emerging world of abuse survivors.
The Shadow of Father Pat Koch
In 1966, Berry confided in his religion teacher, Father Pat Koch, about his father's struggles with alcoholism. Koch offered guidance and blessings, leaving Berry feeling cleansed. Years later, Berry was shocked to learn from a 2021 deposition that Koch had been accused of sexually abusing teenagers at the Jesuit College Preparatory School in Dallas. Four men alleged abuse by Koch, who died in 2006, with his obituary filled with praise from those with memories like Berry's.
The deposition revealed that Koch had been reassigned from Texas to New Orleans in 1966 after complaints from seminarians. Berry realized how vulnerable he had been, sitting across from a priest exiled for abuse. This threw him into a conflicted zone, appreciating Koch's influence while feeling revulsion at his actions.
Impact on Survivors and Legal Battles
In 2019, the Dallas diocese released a list naming Koch as credibly accused, prompting survivors like Mike Pedevilla to come forward. Pedevilla, abused by Koch as a freshman, filed a lawsuit after years of bottled trauma. The case led to a settlement in 2022, involving reforms and undisclosed financial compensation for victims. Jesuit Prep president Mike Earsing apologized, and the school created a memorial space for abuse survivors.
Another survivor, Brendan Higgins, shared his harrowing experience of abuse by Koch during a trip to New Orleans. Despite his trauma, Higgins later donated to Jesuit Prep, reflecting a complex relationship with his Catholic upbringing. The settlement process highlighted efforts at reconciliation, with Jesuit provincial Father Thomas Greene playing a key role in apologies and healing masses.
Broader Church Crisis and Personal Reflections
Berry's reporting on clergy abuse began in the 1980s, facing backlash but supported by mentors like Father Frank Coco, who encouraged him to continue exposing the truth. As the crisis unfolded, Berry grappled with his faith, especially after the birth of his daughter Ariel, who had Down's syndrome and died at 17. Her innocence and resilience became a source of hope amid the darkness of his reporting.
The Catholic Church has faced numerous lawsuits and bankruptcies, with Jesuit institutions like those in Oregon and New Orleans settling abuse claims. Efforts at restorative justice, such as Fordham University's Taking Responsibility initiative, aim to address historic abuses. However, defenders of Jesuit schools often resist public declarations, preferring to settle and move on.
Seeking Healing and Forgiveness
Berry continues to attend mass sporadically, seeking connection to his daughter's spirit and praying for the soul of Pat Koch. He reflects on the survivors' role as a chorus in a Greek tragedy, warning of a broken moral order. The challenge remains: how to repair a structure that seemed good while confronting its evil underside. For Berry, the journey involves balancing gratitude for his Jesuit education with the painful truths of abuse, striving for forgiveness and healing in a fractured world.
