NASCAR driver Natalie Decker has ignited a fierce debate after openly discussing the unconventional beginning of her relationship with her now-husband, Derek Lemke. In a candid podcast appearance, Decker revealed that Lemke first messaged her on Instagram when she was just fourteen years old, while he was eighteen, instructing her to contact him when she reached legal adulthood.
Podcast Revelation Sparks Grooming Questions
During an episode of the 'Speedway Sessions' podcast hosted by former stock car driver Matt Tifft, Decker recounted her initial meeting with Lemke at a racetrack in Elko, Wisconsin. "I was 14-years-old and I went to his home track at Elko and he was a few people in front of me in line checking in to get your pit pass," Decker recalled. She described noticing him wearing a backwards baby blue Bauer hockey hat and telling her father, "Do you think that's a hockey player AND a race car driver? 'Cause if that's the case, I will marry that guy."
Decker admitted she became "obsessed" with Lemke romantically over the following year, despite the four-year age gap and his status as a legal adult with a girlfriend. "Like I think he's the coolest guy, I think he's so cute. Like I'm crushing on him hard and I'm just like this little girl to him at this point," she said.
'Call Me When You're 18' Direct Message
The situation escalated when Lemke eventually sent her a direct message on Instagram. "He messaged me on Instagram and he was like, 'Call me when you're 18.' And I said, 'Bet, I will.' I was like ok, deal... I'm pretty sure he still had a girlfriend when he told me that," Decker revealed. Podcast host Matt Tifft responded with shock, asking, "Is that grooming? I feel like that's grooming." Decker acknowledged they had "never talked about it."
When Decker finally turned eighteen, she initiated contact on Valentine's Day. "I sent him a very cute picture of my cute little butt and I said, 'Happy Valentine's Day, Derek. What's my present?' We've never stopped talking since that day," she confessed.
Social Media Backlash and Fan Concern
The revelation prompted immediate concern and criticism from fans on social media platforms. One Instagram user commented, "this is NOT a flex yo," while another wrote, "Idk if I'd be bragging about this. And I definitely wouldn't want her bragging about this if I were him. Telling a 14 year old to 'call me when you're 18' is certainly a.....decision."
Further comments included, "Yeah this isn’t something to be proudly saying," and "The way she told this story made him sound really really screwed up. Even if it’s true or not, this would end up being really bad publicity for him if it blows up." Another user noted, "People really do be saying just anything and everything on podcasts these days."
Marriage and Family Life
Despite the controversial start, Decker and Lemke pursued a relationship, getting engaged in December 2022 and marrying approximately one year later when she was twenty-five and he was twenty-nine. In February 2025, Decker gave birth to their first child, a son named Levi.
Racing Careers of the Couple
Natalie Decker has built a professional racing career in NASCAR's O'Reilly Auto Parts Series, the sport's second-tier series behind the premier Cup Series. She also has experience racing trucks and modified vehicles. Across fourteen races in the O'Reilly series, her best finish is eighteenth place at Daytona International Speedway. This season, she started at the opening race in Daytona, finishing thirty-third.
Derek Lemke has similarly competed in NASCAR, driving trucks in two races at Richmond and the Milwaukee Mile in his native Wisconsin during 2023. He continues to race in lower divisions of the sport. The couple's shared passion for motorsport has evidently been a cornerstone of their relationship, even as the origins of their connection continue to raise eyebrows and provoke discussion about appropriate boundaries and behavior.
