Finding the perfect present for a picky partner can be the most stressful part of the festive season. To help navigate this seasonal minefield, etiquette experts have revealed their definitive list of gifts to avoid, warning that a poorly chosen present can cause more offence than joy.
The Gifts Guaranteed to Disappoint
New York-based etiquette authority Thomas P. Farley, widely known as Mister Manners, has updated his annual guide to disastrous presents. He first advised readers of the Daily Mail last year to steer clear of offensive novelty T-shirts and impersonal home repair tools. This year, his list targets trendy but thoughtless purchases.
Fitness fads, like expensive spin bikes, are a particular no-go unless your partner is a dedicated cyclist counting the days until spring. Farley cautions that these often end up as glorified towel racks. On the footwear front, while shoes can be a good gift, he specifically advises against novelty Crocs, such as bright yellow SpongeBob clogs or orange Pringles shoes, "unless he enjoys wearing footwear that looks like it came from inside a McDonald's Happy Meal."
For a safer sartorial choice, Farley suggests a classic pair of Chelsea boots, highlighting the Kenton style from J. Crew, currently on sale for $162.
Why Grooming Gifts and Tech Gadgets Backfire
Another major category of gift-giving pitfalls revolves around implied criticism. Nick Leighton, co-host of the etiquette podcast Were You Raised By Wolves?, told the Daily Mail it is best to avoid anything that hints at self-improvement.
"Anything that implies they need to change their body isn't great," advised Leighton, who is also based in New York. This includes weight loss products, gym memberships, anti-aging creams, or clothes in a smaller size as a subtle hint. Self-help books about communication, success, or fashion sense fall into the same offensive category.
This view is supported by data. A study from Virgin Gifts found that 52 percent of Americans dislike gifts that imply criticism, ranking them among the worst presents you can give.
Even seemingly exciting tech can be a misstep. Farley warns that while a virtual reality headset might seem cutting-edge, prolonged use can cause headaches, dizziness, and eye strain. He recommends a smaller pair of smart glasses as a better alternative.
The Etiquette of Re-gifting and Last-Minute Panic
The experts also addressed other common festive failures. While re-gifting is sometimes acceptable, Leighton stresses it must be "something you'd go out and buy for them even if you didn't already have it." Clearly used items, or even unopened ones that feel like an afterthought, topped the survey as terrible options, alongside obvious last-minute panic purchases.
The consensus is clear: the best gifts show thoughtfulness and appreciation for who the recipient is now, not a project for who you might want them to become. Avoiding these common pitfalls can ensure your holiday gesture is met with genuine delight, not disguised disappointment.
