The Chaotic First Day of a London Food Courier
"Don't mess it up," I muttered to myself, carefully placing my inaugural Uber Eats order into the cavernous depths of an oversized delivery bag. This was day one of my cycling courier career, long before my writing appeared in these pages. My maiden mission seemed straightforward enough: transport a McDonald's order three miles through west London's streets. Yet as any regular user of delivery apps knows, drivers frequently encounter a cascade of errors - from incorrect pickups to misguided navigation.
A Disastrous Debut in Putney
Setting off from Hammersmith towards Putney to complete that first delivery and earn my £4 fee, I soon discovered the role's hidden complexities. Moments later, I found myself sprinting from a Putney council estate, my delivery abandoned. To my astonishment, Uber still paid me the full amount for the failed job - the solitary bright spot in what proved to be shockingly poorly paid work.
The Putney delivery began promisingly when a hungry customer buzzed me into their building. With the lift out of service, I climbed ten flights of stairs, anticipating a satisfied customer. Disaster struck as I reached for their door: my rucksack revealed a disintegrating paper bag saturated with Diet Coke, the burgers and chips within similarly drenched. Realising I'd positioned the drink upside down, I fled downstairs, discarded the ruined meal in a nearby bin, and cancelled the order - yet still received my payment.
The Gruelling Economics of Delivery Work
I completed only a handful of deliveries before abandoning the role. Competition from London's tens of thousands of couriers working for Uber Eats, Deliveroo, and Just Eat made securing sufficient orders to reach minimum wage nearly impossible, except during rainy Friday or Saturday nights in central London. Most colleagues, typically registered with multiple apps simultaneously, formed cliques while waiting outside fast-food outlets. Tension frequently simmered between drivers and restaurant staff, each faction accusing the other of sluggishness or aggression.
At McDonald's, one server expressed surprise at my insulated, appropriately sized delivery bag - I was among the few couriers he'd seen that day complying with compulsory heatproof bag requirements. Cycling with the bulky bag presented its own hazards; I narrowly avoided clipping wing mirrors while navigating between cars, buses, and lorries.
The Temptation of Pilfered Fries
Regarding food theft, while I never succumbed, other drivers proved less resistant. One current Uber Eats courier confessed: "I try to be professional. But when you're stuck in traffic with someone's chips beside you, having not eaten for hours, it's tough. I don't make a habit of it, but yeah, I've taken fries. Everyone does, whether they admit it or not." He elaborated: "You're five hours in, tired, hungry, and the food's just there - it happens. One night I was out late, and hadn't eaten all day. The bag was open, and I took a nugget. Not proud of it but also not the first."
Account Sharing Scandals and Security Measures
Uber Eats has faced criticism following Daily Mail revelations that female drivers rented their accounts to illegal immigrant men for thousands of pounds, circumventing criminal record and employment checks. App users complained about drivers not matching profile photographs, with some expecting female couriers only for men to arrive instead.
Matt Stevens from Greenwich, London, experienced this firsthand when ordering a takeaway. The app indicated a female driver was en route, but a bearded man appeared at his doorstep with the food. "I walk outside, and there's a fully grown man out there," Matt told the Daily Mail. "So I thought, this can't be my delivery."
Uber has since implemented stricter verification procedures. I now must take a selfie to authenticate my identity before receiving orders. An Uber Eats spokesperson stated: "Uber Eats is committed to building the best platform for all customers and we take appropriate action in the rare event a courier breaches our community guidelines. We offer a flexible way for thousands of couriers to earn while being able to choose when, where, and for how long they work. While the vast majority are satisfied with their experience on the app, we work closely with our union partner, GMB, to ensure couriers' interests are always represented."
