In a startling revelation from her newly published memoir, actress and writer Lena Dunham has openly admitted to cheating on her former partner, superstar music producer Jack Antonoff, during their five-year relationship. The 39-year-old star details the infidelity and its complex aftermath in Famesick, released this Tuesday, shedding light on a turbulent period in their high-profile romance.
The Affair and Its Context
Dunham recounts that following a hysterectomy surgery in November 2017, she and Antonoff, 42, a key writing collaborator for Taylor Swift, had their "worst-ever fight." This confrontation led to a temporary pause in their relationship as Dunham embarked on a tour. During this separation, she reconnected with a childhood friend and former boyfriend named Nick, with whom she had maintained intermittent email contact over the years.
In her memoir, Dunham writes: "Up until now, I had seen myself as some kind of half wife, and so I had observed wifely code (you can masturbate thinking about someone oxidizing metal, but you can’t touch!)" She continues, "But the events of the past few weeks had changed the game, and it was every woman for herself, just trying to survive."
Escalation and Details
The situation escalated when Dunham went on a date with Nick and took a cab back to his apartment. She describes telling him: "I've been through something awful. I don't want to talk about it, but I need you to f*** me and I need you to do all the work." The two continued sleeping together for two weeks while Antonoff was on tour. Remarkably, after her split from Antonoff, Dunham and Nick even got "engaged," but they ultimately broke up following Dunham's rehab stint in 2018.
Addressing Rumors and Speculation
Dunham also touches upon infidelity rumors surrounding Antonoff during their relationship. She notes that she would often receive emails from Nick, but he "avoided real responses" despite her persistent flirting. Reflecting on this, she writes: "I had observed careful boundaries, never taking it far enough that I could be declared out of bounds."
She adds a telling observation: "If I’d wanted to look, perhaps I may have seen that Jack was not observing them as closely as I was. I wasn’t paying attention, but the internet sure was, and they made some pretty amazing PowerPoints on the issue, so convincing they had me rethinking events that I myself had been present for."
The Lorde Speculation
For years, rumors have swirled that Antonoff was romantically involved with frequent collaborator Lorde, now 29, though both have consistently denied these claims. Dunham expresses displeasure in her memoir about Antonoff spending extended time in the studio with a "teen pop star," even describing an incident where this singer was "weeping into Jack's lap" when she returned home one day.
Despite denials from all parties, some dedicated fans remain convinced, with one creating a viral PowerPoint presentation arguing that Lorde's album Melodrama—produced by Antonoff and recorded largely in the apartment-studio he shared with Dunham—offered insights into an alleged affair. The slides posited a timeline suggesting Lorde and Antonoff got together in April 2016, months before Dunham and Antonoff's split in December 2017.
Public Reactions and Denials
In a 2018 interview with The Cut, Dunham praised the creator of the PowerPoint, user @buzzkillary, saying, "Actually, I completely respect this girl, because she did a very good job and she was very funny," while admitting it was "so embarrassing." She added, "It was awful because I felt like a weird... I don't think anything happened between them. I can never know someone else's life."
Antonoff and Lorde have both publicly rubbished the rumors. In 2018, Antonoff wrote on social media: "Normally I would never address rumors but I resent having the most important friendships and working relationships in my life reduced to dumb hetero normative gossip. Those relationships are deeply important and sacred. With that said, I'm not seeing anyone. lol."
Lorde echoed this, posting on X: "Guys… Jack and I are not dating, for the last time. I love him, he's awesome, but we're not dating! Please!" In 2021, she further clarified their relationship on Ash London Live, describing Antonoff as a "platonic husband" and stating, "We're in it for life I think at this point."
Criticism of Sexist Narratives
Lorde also criticized the speculation in a New York Times interview, calling it "insulting" and "sexist" for critics to refer to her album Solar Power as "a Jack Antonoff record." She emphasized, "I haven't made a Jack Antonoff record. I've made a Lorde record and he's helped me make it." She denounced the discussion around their personal relationship as "retro" and "sexist," particularly the idea of her being part of his so-called "stable" of female collaborators.
Moving Forward
Today, both parties have moved on with their lives. Antonoff married actress Margaret Qualley in 2023, while Dunham wed musician Luis Felber in 2021. Famesick: A Memoir is now available on bookshelves and through online retailers, offering a candid look into Dunham's personal struggles and high-profile relationships.
