Rafe Spall Reflects on Blended Family Dynamics and New Fatherhood in His Forties
British actor Rafe Spall has broken his silence for the first time regarding his complex blended family situation, following his departure from his wife of twelve years and the subsequent birth of a new child with his co-star. The 42-year-old performer, best known for his role in the Apple TV+ series Trying, has embarked on a significant new chapter in his personal life, which he now openly discusses with poignant introspection.
A New Romance and Expanding Family
Spall originally separated from his wife, actress Elize du Toit, in 2022. Du Toit is widely recognised for her former portrayal of Izzy Davies in the long-running Channel 4 soap opera Hollyoaks. Shortly after the separation, Spall began a romantic relationship with his Trying co-star, Esther Smith. The couple welcomed their first child together in 2024, which marks Spall's fourth child overall; he previously fathered three children—two sons and a daughter—with his ex-wife during their marriage.
This new addition to his family has prompted the actor to contemplate the passage of time and his own mortality with a fresh perspective. "I was 27 when I had my first child," Spall revealed in an interview with The Telegraph. "I’ll be 43 in March with a new baby; at the risk of sounding trite, starting again has given me a keen sense of the passing of time. No phase will last forever; nothing is permanent."
Parallels with On-Screen Narrative in Trying
The Apple TV+ series Trying, which launched in 2020, features Spall and Smith as a working-class couple who turn to adoption after facing difficulties conceiving a child naturally. The show explores the myriad unexpected challenges that arise throughout their journey. Interestingly, the fourth series of the programme fast-forwards six years into the future, depicting the pair as experienced adopters who have successfully built a nuclear family, supported by an extensive network of friends and relatives.
Away from the fictional narrative, Spall fully embraces the realities of parenting a newborn. He shared, "When you’re up in the small hours pacing the floor as you try to get the baby to sleep, it feels like forever, but those precious moments are where the love is. That’s not to say it isn’t bloody annoying too, but I would truly exchange anything I have for just one day with each of them as a baby."
Past Regrets and Current Commitments
Spall married Elize du Toit in 2010, and the couple relocated to The Cotswolds in 2019. They share three children: Lena, Rex, and a younger son. The actor has previously expressed remorse over not being able to devote more time to his children due to his professional commitments. In a past interview with the i newspaper, he admitted, "Unfortunately I don't have any other skills to exchange for cash. This is all I have and so I have to go off and do my acting in order to keep them in hummus."
In a heartwarming development, Spall and Smith were photographed in November 2024 enjoying a family day out in London with their new baby, marking the first public glimpse of their infant. The couple had initially announced the pregnancy approximately six months earlier during an appearance on the television programme Lorraine, though they chose not to disclose the expected due date at that time.
Future Plans and Personal Reflections
Discussing their anticipation for the birth before the commencement of filming for the fifth series of Trying, Smith remarked, "We'll have a baby, and then we'll carry on, perhaps, with that ['Trying']." Spall, seated beside her, added warmly, "We're very excited." The actor has also spoken highly of his professional and personal relationship with Smith, telling Filmhounds in July 2022, "I get to hang out with Esther all day. We really get on. She's my favourite person I've ever done acting with."
Spall, who is the son of esteemed British screen legend Timothy Spall, has since moved to the affluent London suburb of Hampstead with Smith and their child. The couple has maintained privacy regarding their infant's name and gender, keeping those details away from the public eye. This new domestic setup symbolises a fresh start for the actor, as he navigates the joys and responsibilities of fatherhood once more, this time with a renewed awareness of life's transient nature.
