America's late-night television hosts delivered a scathing verdict on a tumultuous week in US politics, focusing on a surprise national address by former President Donald Trump and a series of explosive interviews given by his White House chief of staff.
Kimmel's Scorching Take on a 'Fool' President
On his Wednesday night show, Jimmy Kimmel opened by acknowledging Trump's 9pm ET national broadcast, which he branded a "surprise primetime episode of The Worst Wing tonight on every channel." The address was announced with little notice, scheduled to interrupt popular television finales. "It's weird to think that had a couple of states just gone the other way, he'd be hosting one of those shows," Kimmel joked, adding, "Trump shouldn't be pre-empting The Floor. He should be mopping it."
Kimmel mocked Trump's pre-speech social media post which promised, "It has been a great year for our country, and THE BEST IS YET TO COME!" The host retorted, "I agree – the Epstein files are due on Friday." He characterised the speech as akin to "taking the stand in his own defense" and concluded bluntly, "It really is amazing that this fool is president."
The comedian also ridiculed a new, highly politicised "presidential hall of fame" installed in the White House, which includes controversial plaques about Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Noting that one plaque claimed Ronald Reagan was a fan of Trump, Kimmel reminded viewers that Reagan died in 2004 and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a decade prior. "What was he a fan of, exactly? Trump's Pizza Hut commercials?" he wondered.
In a particularly vivid insult, Kimmel said of Trump: "He knows the world is laughing at him, and that his brain and face are like a Creamsicle melting on the sidewalk." He ended his monologue with a plea: "Can we please put this man in a home before he completely destroys the one he's in now?"
Colbert Dodges the 'Grandpa Ramble-Pants' Address
Over on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert made a concerted effort to avoid discussing what he called the 9pm "old grandpa ramble-pants sundown jamboree." He told his audience the team considered broadcasting live to cover the speech but decided against it because "we would have to have watched it. And I don't want to do that no more."
Colbert highlighted the oddity of Trump announcing an emergency national address while claiming everything was going wonderfully. "It's like your mom calling and saying: 'Hey honey, I know you've got work, but is there any way you could fly down here tomorrow? Because your dad … is doing great!'" he quipped.
He also sympathised with networks forced to hand over their primetime slots, noting the speech cut into the season finale of Survivor. "Unless that's the final challenge," he proposed, "'Survivors, you've endured starvation, extreme heat and poisonous snakes. But for your final challenge, you must listen to a bitter old man talk about a ballroom.'"
Meyers on a White House in 'Damage Control'
Seth Meyers used his Late Night platform to focus on the fallout from chief of staff Susie Wiles's remarkably candid interviews with Vanity Fair. Meyers described a White House in "damage control" mode after Wiles claimed Trump had an "alcoholic's personality," labelled JD Vance a "conspiracy theorist for a decade," and called Elon Musk an "avowed ketamine user."
"It's weird and, in many ways, it's not surprising she said these things," Meyers stated, "other than the fact that she still works at the White House." He summarised: "She said the president she currently works for behaves like an alcoholic, the vice-president is a conspiracy theorist and the most likely explanation for the ramblings of the richest man on earth is that he's on drugs."
Meyers saved particular scorn for Wiles's defence of Trump's friendship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, whom she said Trump knew when they were "young, single playboys together." "I didn't think it was possible to make Trump's relationship with Epstein sound any worse, but Susie Wiles did it," Meyers said. "That's like saying 'Oh yeah, I was friends with Hannibal Lecter, but only because we're both foodies!'"
The host also mocked a glossy Vanity Fair photoshoot of White House officials, including Vance, that coincided with Wiles's disparaging remarks. "This is like if you pose for a high-school yearbook photo thinking you've been voted 'most likely to succeed', and then when it came out, your superlative said 'most likely to shit his pants at lunch'," he laughed.
The collective monologues from Kimmel, Colbert, and Meyers painted a picture of a political operation grappling with self-inflicted controversies, from an impromptu presidential address to a chief of staff's brutally honest assessments, providing ample fodder for America's late-night satirists.
