At 88 years old, renowned health expert and author Dr Miriam Stoppard is delivering a powerful and uplifting message: your most fulfilling sexual experiences could still be in front of you. The legendary Mirror columnist, whose books have sold over 25 million copies, is challenging ageist stereotypes with her new guide, insisting that intimacy in your 60s, 70s, and 80s can rival, or even surpass, that of your youth.
Love, Loss, and a Lifelong Belief in Intimacy
Dr Stoppard's inspiring perspective comes despite profound personal loss in recent years. She experienced two bereavements in the last five years: her second husband, Sir Christopher Hogg, died in December 2021 after she nursed him through dementia, and her first husband, the playwright Sir Tom Stoppard, passed away just a few weeks ago.
Reflecting on her 22-year marriage to Tom Stoppard, which began in 1970 after they met in the late 1960s, she recalls initial intimidation by his literary fame. The marriage ended when he fell for actress Felicity Kendall. "It was painful for me, but I wasn't angry," she states, demonstrating her enduring philosophy on love's power. "Nobody can control who they fall in love with."
She later married businessman Sir Christopher Hogg in the mid-to-late 1990s after meeting at a Number 10 dinner party hosted by Margaret Thatcher. Through it all, her faith in the necessity of human connection has never wavered. "We all love intimacy and we need intimacy - and we crave it until we die," she affirms.
Crumbling the Stigma Around Sex and Ageing
In her new book, Sex, Drugs and Walking Sticks: A Guide to Living Your Best Life in Your 60s, 70s, 80s and Beyond, Dr Stoppard aims to dismantle outdated taboos. She argues that older adults today are entering a "new age of good health, happiness - and sex." With more free time, disposable income, and advanced medications, she believes this demographic is often more assertive and ready to enjoy life than ever before.
"I'm here to tell you that you're missing out on great sex," she declares. "Your best sex of your life is still ahead of you if you want it. It's just there waiting to be woken up." She describes sex as an essential vitamin, flooding the body with feel-good hormones that act as a life force, providing ecstasy and fostering feelings of being wanted, confident, and joyous.
Dr Miriam's Guide to Sparkling Sex in Later Life
Dr Stoppard offers practical, frank advice for those looking to rejuvenate their intimate lives:
Forget the Past and Embrace the Present: Accept that your body has changed, but understand it still responds to sexual stimulation. "Make the most of what you have, which is an awful lot," she advises.
Keep Going: Consistency is key. Having sex regularly through your 40s, 50s and beyond makes it easier to maintain later on. She suggests aiming for once a week without pressure, as it can make you feel wonderful.
Actively Find Your Libido: Acknowledge that libido may drop but can be reawakened. "Concentrate on it. Allow yourself to have sexual thoughts," she says. Experimentation and exploration are encouraged to bring your sexuality nearer the surface.
Reignite the Spark Through Communication: Open, honest conversation with a partner is fundamental. Discuss desires and fantasies openly. "Honesty is the key to liberating yourself. And even the chat will be arousing," she notes.
Ultimately, Dr Miriam Stoppard's message is one of defiant optimism and permission. She urges people to continue seeing themselves as sexual beings, framing a vibrant sex life as the ultimate "antidote to ageism." Her work stands as a compelling call to embrace intimacy, joy, and connection at every stage of life.
