In a powerful message challenging societal taboos, renowned health expert and author Dr Miriam Stoppard declares that the most fulfilling sexual experiences of a person's life can still lie ahead in their 60s, 70s, and 80s. The 88-year-old columnist and best-selling author insists that age should never be a barrier to intimacy and pleasure.
Love, Loss, and a Lifelong Passion for Intimacy
Dr Miriam Stoppard's uplifting perspective comes despite profound personal loss in recent years. She experienced two bereavements in the last five years: her second husband, Sir Christopher Hogg, died in December 2021 after she nursed him through dementia, and her first husband, the celebrated playwright Sir Tom Stoppard, passed away just weeks ago.
Reflecting on her 22-year marriage to Tom Stoppard, which began in 1970 after they met in the late 1960s, she recalls initial intimidation by his literary fame. "I was too nervous and tongue tied to speak to him," she admits. The marriage ended when he fell for actress Felicity Kendall. Dr Miriam, demonstrating remarkable grace, states, "Love is so precious. Nobody can control who they fall in love with."
She later married businessman Sir Christopher Hogg in the mid-to-late 1990s after meeting at a Number 10 dinner party hosted by Margaret Thatcher. "I miss him terribly," she says of his passing.
An Antidote to Ageism: Reclaiming Your Sexuality
Now, in her new book, Sex, Drugs and Walking Sticks: A Guide to Living Your Best Life in Your 60s, 70s, 80s and Beyond, Dr Stoppard delivers a frank and encouraging guide. The author, whose books have sold over 25 million copies, argues that older adults are often missing out. "I'm here to tell you that you're missing out on great sex. Intimacy in older age can be just as good, if not better, than it was when you were younger," she asserts.
She frames the pursuit of a healthy sex life as a direct challenge to ageist attitudes. "Consider it your antidote to ageism," she says. "Your best sex of your life is still ahead of you if you want it. It's just there waiting to be woken up."
Dr Stoppard, who wrote a sex manual back in the 1980s, believes the time is finally right to dismantle the stigma. "Now, in 2025, it's time to crumble the stigma of sex in older age," she proclaims. She describes sex as an essential component of wellbeing, releasing a "theatre of positive emotions" and vital hormones that act as a life force.
Practical Tips for Sparking Desire After 60
Dr Stoppard does not just preach positivity; she offers practical, actionable advice for those looking to reignite their libido in later life.
Forget the Past and Embrace the Present: She advises letting go of comparisons to youthful virility. "Your body responds to sex whatever age you are," she notes, encouraging people to make the most of what they have.
Consistency is Key: "Don't quit!" she urges. Maintaining an active sex life through middle age makes it easier to continue later. She suggests aiming for intimacy once a week without pressure.
Actively Find Your Libido: Acknowledging that desire may drop, she recommends consciously dedicating time to awaken it. "Concentrate on it. Allow yourself to have sexual thoughts," she says. Experimentation and self-exploration are crucial.
Reignite the Spark Through Communication: Honest conversation with a partner is fundamental. "Be unafraid to talk about what you have always wanted to do... And even the chat will be arousing," she advises. Discussing fantasies and desires can make sex flow more naturally.
Dr Miriam Stoppard concludes with an optimistic vision for modern ageing, citing more free time, disposable income, and advanced healthcare. "This is a new age of good health, happiness - and sex," she declares, proving that passion and intimacy have no expiry date.
