A psychologist has unveiled a surprisingly simple yet powerful method to enhance your mood and reduce stress hormones - and it comes completely free of charge. While most Brits feel awkward about engaging with this practice, the scientific benefits are substantial and well-documented.
The British Compliment Conundrum
Research Without Barriers (RWB) has uncovered a significant gap in everyday British social interactions, with findings showing that 66% of UK adults receive compliments only occasionally. This highlights a cultural tendency where praise is typically reserved for special occasions rather than being integrated into daily life.
When compliments do occur, personality traits such as sense of humour and kindness receive the most attention, closely followed by clothing choices. What we wear serves as one of the most visible expressions of personal style, playing a powerful role in how we perceive ourselves and interact with the world.
The Psychological Impact of Positive Words
Psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos has explained the remarkable neurological effects of compliments, revealing they serve as an unexpected dopamine booster while simultaneously causing cortisol levels to drop significantly.
"Here's the thing, even though people clearly love being complimented, it's unfortunately not part of the everyday experience," Dr Papadopoulos commented regarding the national compliment shortage. "Despite the fact that we know compliments are really good for you. We know that they increase dopamine, they reduce cortisol, they're socially binding, but interestingly enough, we're reticent to give as many compliments as, perhaps, we're thinking about."
The validation provided by genuine compliments creates lasting impacts, with research showing almost eight in ten Brits are more likely to wear, buy, or use something again after receiving positive feedback about it. This demonstrates how carefully chosen words can influence everything from wardrobe decisions to purchasing habits.
Cultural Barriers to Compliment Exchange
Dr Papadopoulos believes that British cultural norms create particular awkwardness around giving and receiving compliments. "Culturally speaking, Brits don't want to brag," she explains. "But compliments are social glue. They're the way that we bond. They're the way that we make each other feel seen."
This cultural hesitation has prompted initiatives like Marks & Spencer's 'Love That' campaign, which aims to encourage a nation often hesitant about praise to embrace the small moments of joy that come from noticing and appreciating others.
Digital Spaces for Positive Interaction
While online platforms often receive criticism for negativity, certain digital spaces have become havens for positive exchanges. A dedicated Reddit thread offering free compliments attracts more than 40,000 visitors weekly, with participants either offering kind words or posting photos in hopes of receiving validation.
A similar trend has emerged on TikTok, where videos asking users to share their favourite compliments have accumulated millions of views, demonstrating a growing appetite for positive social interaction even in digital environments.
"We know that they're profoundly impactful in human interactions as a way of feeling safe from the interaction, as a way of feeling valued," Dr Papadopoulos says. "When we feel seen, we feel safe, we feel entitled to relationships, to love, to connection, we're more likely to give back. It feeds to our self esteem, our self-confidence, and our identity, and that's huge for just engaging with the world in a more positive way generally."
Practical Strategies for Compliment Exchange
How to Give Effective Compliments
Be specific and personal: When offering praise, people are much more likely to accept and appreciate compliments that are detailed and tailored to them specifically. Generic praise lacks the impact of observations that demonstrate genuine attention.
Make eye contact and listen: Maintain appropriate eye contact during compliment exchanges, and truly listen to responses. This creates a sense of connection and shows the recipient that your words come from authentic observation rather than social obligation.
Say what you see in a positive way: Many people experience social anxiety around complimenting others, but most recipients cherish positive feedback when they receive it. Continue expressing what you notice positively, and you'll typically receive appreciation in return.
How to Receive Compliments Gracefully
Be gracious: When receiving compliments, the British tendency is often to deflect with phrases like "oh, no, it was nothing." This self-denigrating response inadvertently tells the compliment-giver their observation was incorrect. Instead, acknowledge the praise with gratitude.
Lean into positive feelings: Recognise that aspects of yourself you might not appreciate could be qualities others genuinely value. Allow compliments to challenge negative self-perceptions and expand your sense of self-worth.
Accept the validation: Understand that receiving compliments positively contributes to self-esteem, self-confidence, and personal identity development. This foundation supports more positive engagement with the world generally.
