When a person living with dementia repeatedly asks 'to go home', this simple three-word phrase can signal deeper issues of anxiety and a need for safety, according to a leading psychologist.
Understanding the Hidden Meaning
Dr Kellyn Lee, CEO of the Dementia Care Hub, recently addressed this common scenario in a TikTok video, explaining that while we should avoid blanket statements, the request often indicates the person does not feel safe or secure in their current environment.
"When someone with dementia is asking to go home, they are saying they don't feel safe," Dr Lee stated. However, she emphasised the complexity of the situation, particularly for those living in care homes who may genuinely not recognise their residence as home.
The Role of Anxiety in Dementia
Dementia represents a syndrome involving various symptoms linked to declining brain function. Recent NHS figures indicate over 944,000 people are living with dementia across the UK, with Alzheimer's disease being the most common form.
While memory loss remains the most recognised symptom, dementia can also cause significant mood changes. Heightened irritability, anxiety, and depression frequently occur and may worsen over time as the condition progresses.
Dr Lee explained how cognitive impairment affects perception: "Because the messages aren't flowing through as they should be, because perception isn't quite what it should be, this can create high levels of anxiety."
Practical Support Strategies
When anxiety triggers the 'fight or flight' response, resulting in requests to leave, Dr Lee recommends specific approaches to provide reassurance. "What you need to do is support that by validating the fact that they want to leave," she advised.
Her practical suggestions include walking with the person while maintaining physical contact like holding their arm, reducing environmental stimulation, and avoiding excessive questioning. Instead, she recommends using reassuring phrases such as "I've got you" and "Let's go for a walk and let's walk this through".
The Alzheimer's Society supports this approach, suggesting that carers help people find appropriate times and spaces to share their thoughts. For particularly distressing situations, they recommend seeking support from professional counsellors or therapists.
As dementia continues to affect nearly a million people across the UK, understanding these subtle communications becomes increasingly important for providing compassionate, effective care that addresses both emotional and cognitive needs.
