Health Expert Urges Parents to Rethink Common Response to Childhood Falls
Parents across the UK are being encouraged to reconsider their immediate reaction when their children take a tumble during playtime. Registered health visitor Ruth Watts, who has built a substantial following of 148,000 on Instagram, has issued important guidance about language that could inadvertently prolong a child's distress rather than comfort them.
The Problem with 'You're Fine'
Watts highlights that many parents instinctively respond to their crying child with phrases like 'you're okay, up you get' or 'no crying, you're fine' in an attempt to quickly resolve the situation. However, she explains this common approach might actually have the opposite effect to what parents intend.
'This can encourage your child to lengthen the period of them not being fine,' Watts explains. 'Because they can think, "well, I've actually hurt myself. I'm not fine. But you're always gaslighting me into telling me that I am fine."'
According to the health visitor, parents often use these phrases hoping their child will 'snap out of it' and return to playing quickly. Yet this dismissal of genuine pain or fear can undermine the child's emotional development and trust in their caregivers.
A More Effective Alternative Approach
Watts recommends a completely different response that validates children's experiences while still encouraging resilience. Her suggested method involves acknowledging the hurt first before offering comfort.
'Your child falls over and hurts themselves, instead of "you're fine," go over to them and say "ooh that must have really hurt. Would you like a big cuddle?"' she advises.
She acknowledges that some parents might feel they're 'pandering' to their child by responding this way, but emphasizes that 'a little bit of comfort and reassurance is actually going to make them feel heard, make them think that did hurt and make it pass much quicker in that moment.'
Building Resilience Through Validation
Contrary to what some might assume, Watts argues that validating children's feelings actually promotes independence and emotional strength rather than creating dependency.
'It's crazy how validating can actually cause your child to move on and get up and crack on and be more resilient,' she observes.
This approach allows children to process their experience authentically, potentially leading them to think 'yeah that did really hurt, thank you mummy. I would really like a cuddle' before moving forward with their activities.
Professional and Parental Responses
Since sharing this advice on social media, Watts' guidance has generated significant engagement and discussion among parents and childcare professionals alike.
One nursery nurse commented: 'This is so true! I'm a nursery nurse and never really thought about it like that. Thank you.'
Another parent shared their experience: '100% agree, I've always said "oh dear did you hurt yourself, would you like mummy to kiss it better?" And literally my boys have got over hurting themselves within seconds!'
Watts, who practices as a health visitor in England, emphasizes that this method helps children develop genuine resilience while feeling supported by their caregivers. The approach represents a shift from dismissing minor injuries to acknowledging them appropriately, potentially strengthening parent-child relationships and emotional intelligence development.
