Prime Minister Keir Starmer has given a deeply personal and emotional account of his experience with grief, revealing how he supported his younger brother Nick through a terminal cancer diagnosis.
A Brother's Protective Instinct
In a candid conversation for Pete Wicks's Man Made podcast, recorded during Men's Mental Health Month, the Prime Minister described his brother Nick as "very vulnerable" due to learning disabilities he had from birth. Mr Starmer explained he was determined Nick wouldn't face his lung cancer diagnosis alone.
"I didn't know how he would react," Mr Starmer told the podcast. "So, I insisted on going to the hospital with him to be with him and basically watched his face as he was told that he had terminal cancer." The Prime Minister then went back home with his brother to help him process the devastating news and understand what it would mean for his life.
Secret Hospital Visits and Personal Grief
Mr Starmer disclosed that he had already been making clandestine visits to see his brother in a Leeds hospital for "weeks and weeks" prior to the diagnosis. The hospital staff had discreetly helped him access the intensive care unit through back routes and staircases so his visits remained private.
Reflecting on the intersection of profound personal loss and public life, the Prime Minister said: "This is the hardest thing of my job, was when something intensely personal happens and you just need a space. Particularly with grief, in my view. And yet there isn't really the space. And it's quite difficult. Very difficult, intensely difficult."
Nick Starmer passed away on Boxing Day 2024 at the age of 60, eighteen months after receiving his terminal diagnosis.
Redefining Masculinity and Confronting Division
When asked what made his brother a "good man," Mr Starmer pointed to his "incredible kindness" and willingness to help others, despite having very little means himself. He used this to challenge traditional stereotypes of masculinity.
"Strength through kindness is something very powerful that I don't think we talk about enough," he stated, arguing that definitions of manhood too often focus on success and sport rather than compassion.
The interview also touched upon a homophobic attack against his niece in 2022, which left the Prime Minister "furious" and continues to anger him. He connected this incident to a broader concern about the UK becoming "a country of toxic division."
On the challenges facing young men, Mr Starmer identified the "difficult search for a role model" as a key issue. He expressed concern that figures like Andrew Tate can seem attractive by offering a sense of purpose, but come with "a whole baggage of misogyny, and toxic division." Steering young men towards a different, positive path, he concluded, is a crucial but tricky task.
