Marie Curie Bereavement Expert Offers Guidance for Mother's Day Grief
For individuals who have experienced the loss of a mother, grandmother, aunt, or any cherished maternal figure, the approach of Mother's Day can present significant emotional challenges. This year, as the day falls on Sunday, March 15, many may find themselves grappling with complex feelings of sorrow and remembrance.
Expert Insight from a Seasoned Counsellor
Jane Murray, a dedicated bereavement counsellor at the end-of-life charity Marie Curie, has compiled a comprehensive list of ten supportive strategies to help navigate this potentially difficult period. Based at the Marie Curie Hospice West Midlands, Jane brings a quarter-century of professional experience in supporting individuals at life's end and assisting families through the grieving process.
Practical Strategies for Emotional Well-being
1. Permit Yourself to Grieve
The anticipation leading up to significant dates can often prove more challenging than the actual day. It is essential to acknowledge that the coming days or weeks may feel more emotionally taxing than usual, and giving yourself permission to experience these feelings is a crucial first step.
2. Create Quiet Moments for Reflection
Consider activities you previously enjoyed with your loved one. Revisiting these pastimes—whether sipping a favourite beverage, visiting a meaningful location, or simply gazing at a cherished photograph—can provide comfort. Lighting a candle or listening to significant music can also facilitate meaningful reflection.
3. Utilize Gardens as Therapeutic Spaces
Gardens offer beautiful sanctuaries for remembrance. Many individuals find solace in planting flowers or trees as living tributes, creating spaces to visit and watch grow over time, which can bring ongoing comfort and connection.
4. Communicate Your Preferences Clearly
Whether you prefer maintaining familiar rituals, establishing new traditions, or opting out of observance entirely, choose what feels right for you. Trust your instincts without worrying about others' expectations.
5. Consider Establishing New Traditions
If repeating past traditions feels overwhelming, there is absolutely nothing wrong with creating completely new ways to honour the day. Embracing change can sometimes provide unexpected comfort.
6. Include Children in Planning
Check in with children about their feelings regarding Mother's Day and reassure them that discussing their lost loved one is welcome. They may worry about upsetting you. Ensuring their inclusion matters greatly, and they might offer wonderful suggestions. Consider contacting their school to learn about planned activities, allowing the child to decide about participation.
7. Embrace Moments of Happiness Without Guilt
Allow yourself to experience moments of tranquillity and joy as they occur. Grief encompasses a wide spectrum of emotions, and permitting yourself to smile, laugh, and reminisce positively is healthy and appropriate.
8. Practice Self-Compassion
Grief can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Prioritize practical self-care, whether through rest, nutrition, or emotional support. If sleep proves difficult, allow yourself guilt-free rest periods.
9. Share Cherished Memories
If you cannot be with fellow mourners in person, make time to connect virtually or by phone. Discussing your loved one and sharing memories can significantly alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation.
10. Proactively Request Support
Some people may feel uncertain about offering assistance regarding grief and loss. If you need support on Mother's Day, do not hesitate to ask for it directly.
Additional Support Resources
For those living with terminal illness or affected by dying, death, or bereavement, Marie Curie offers valuable support. The organization's free Support Line (0800 090 2309) will be open from 10am to 4pm on Mother's Day. Additionally, March features Marie Curie's Great Daffodil Appeal, with donation opportunities available through their official website.
