Many parents across the UK face daily challenges when their child turns into a fussy eater, unsure of the best strategies to encourage healthier habits without causing conflict. With this common struggle in mind, a leading dietician has stepped forward to offer crucial guidance, specifically highlighting three short phrases that parents should consciously avoid saying to children who are selective about their food.
The Expert Advice on Fussy Eating
Veronica La Marca, a professional dietician with a substantial following of over 116,000 on her Instagram platform, regularly shares evidence-based nutritional advice focused on young children. In one of her recent social media posts, she delved into the psychology of picky eating, arguing that a well-intentioned but potentially harmful three-word request might actually be exacerbating the problem rather than solving it.
Why 'Need to Eat More' Backfires
Veronica begins by addressing the common parental urge to instruct a child that they 'need to eat more.' She explains that this directive often creates immediate pressure at the dinner table, which can psychologically 'shut down their appetite and increase resistance.' Instead of fostering a positive relationship with food, this approach makes eating feel like an obligation.
Her recommended alternative is to encourage children to 'listen to their tummy' and gently inquire if they still feel full or perhaps a little hungry. "This supports internal cues instead of external demands," Veronica states, promoting self-awareness and bodily autonomy from a young age.
The Problem with 'Three More Bites'
Focusing on the specific phrase 'three more bites,' the dietician notes that it transforms eating into "a task to complete" rather than an enjoyable experience to explore. This framing can make mealtimes stressful and adversarial.
A constructive substitute she proposes is for parents to say, 'You don't have to finish it – just stay at the table with us, we want to hear about your day.' According to Veronica, this phrasing significantly reduces pressure and helps to strengthen family connections during shared meals, making the environment more relaxed and communicative.
Avoiding 'You Can't Be Full Already'
Another phrase that Veronica advises parents to eliminate is 'You can't be full already.' She warns that this comment "undermines their body awareness and builds frustration," dismissing the child's own feelings of satiety and potentially leading to negative associations with eating.
A better approach is to calmly remind the child that it is currently mealtime and that the next opportunity to eat will be at snack time. This method, she says, "reinforces structure and allows autonomy within boundaries," helping children understand routine without feeling controlled.
Why 'Won't Go Big and Strong' Adds Guilt
Finally, Veronica cautions against telling a child they 'won't go big and strong' if they refuse to eat more. This type of statement, she explains, "adds guilt and stress to the eating experience," linking food consumption directly to emotional pressure and potential anxiety.
Her gentle alternative is to inform the child that mealtime is nearly over and suggest they 'check in with their tummy' before concluding. This offers a mild, non-confrontational reminder that avoids any force or coercion, aligning with a more supportive parenting style.
Building Trust Through Calm Responses
In a follow-up caption to her post, Veronica empathised with parents, writing: "If your kid eats two bites and says 'I’m full' and you feel the urge to bargain for more… You’re not alone." However, she emphasised that pushing for those extra mouthfuls often worsens picky eating tendencies rather than improving them.
The key takeaway from her advice is to replace bargaining or demanding language with calm, consistent responses that lower stress and rebuild trust around food. By avoiding these three common phrases and adopting her suggested alternatives, parents can foster a healthier, more positive mealtime dynamic that respects the child's developing relationship with nutrition.
