Marcus Grodentz, a 74-year-old former PR executive from South Wales, had little time to come to terms with his advanced prostate cancer diagnosis before the brutal side effects of his treatment began. The disease had spread to his bones and lungs, and the subsequent hormone therapy plunged him into what is often termed the 'male menopause'.
The Devastating Impact of Treatment
'I suffered terribly with the symptoms,' Marcus admits. 'I'd get emotional at the drop of a hat and would break down in tears for no reason. I also got hot sweats and felt very isolated.' A common and deeply distressing consequence was the complete loss of his libido, which he describes as 'devastating' for a man, profoundly changing his personal life with his 72-year-old wife, Maggie, a former GP surgery manager.
It was Maggie who eventually persuaded Marcus to seek professional emotional support. He now dreads to think 'where I'd be now if I hadn't got it'. Yet, many of the 55,000 men diagnosed with prostate cancer in the UK each year resist taking this step, despite growing evidence that it can ease the treatment journey and even improve outcomes.
The Science Behind the 'Male Menopause'
Newer hormone therapies have dramatically extended life expectancy for men like Marcus and Sir Cliff Richard, who recently revealed his own early-stage diagnosis. However, these treatments 'come with profound consequences for men', explains Andrew Protheroe, a consultant medical oncologist at the University of Oxford.
The standard androgen deprivation therapy (ADT) works by shutting down testosterone production, as the hormone can fuel cancer growth. 'The loss of testosterone produces symptoms including tiredness, hot flushes and loss of libido, often called the male menopause,' says Professor Protheroe. Other effects can include weight gain, genital shrinkage, breast enlargement, bone density loss, and increased heart disease risk.
'Not only is all this very debilitating, but it can take a huge psychological toll on men who are used to being in control,' Professor Protheroe adds. Robin Muir, a clinical psychologist at the charity Maggie's, notes that many find 'coming to terms with the side-effects of treatment as difficult as the diagnosis', leaving them feeling 'emotionally fragile'.
The Proven Power of Talking and Connection
Men are often notoriously reluctant to discuss intimate side-effects like erectile dysfunction. However, a major UK study of over 13,000 prostate cancer patients found that those with regular confidants and who engaged in group activities had a reduced mortality risk. 'This study supports the argument that good psychological support and exercise lead to better outcomes,' states Professor Protheroe. The findings, published in Psycho-Oncology, align with other research, including a 2014 Lancet study showing that treating depression and anxiety alongside cancer reduced fatigue and pain.
Despite this, men account for just 36% of visits to Maggie's support groups, often only seeking help at later disease stages. Access is also patchy; a 2023 BMJ Open study found only 69% of hospitals offered counselling, and 75% offered sexual function services.
Marcus resisted his wife's suggestion to visit a Maggie's centre for months. 'I thought I am a bloke and I don't want to talk about this,' he recalls. When he finally went, he found immense relief. 'It was a relief to meet others in the same boat. We even managed to have a laugh about things.'
The practical workshops were invaluable, teaching him, for instance, to use SPF50 sunscreen year-round after losing body hair from treatment. 'Gradually this practical advice, combined with emotional support, helped me work towards acceptance of my disease,' he says.
Three years on, Marcus still attends weekly meetings, which 'recharge' him. The group often goes for a pub lunch afterwards, and they stay connected via WhatsApp. 'It's reassuring to know that other guys are going through similar experiences,' he shares.
His message to others is clear: 'I'd urge men with cancer to find a support group. You'll find a group of people who understand exactly what you are going through. We guys tend to think we are bulletproof. It's a huge shock to discover that we're not.'
