Katherine Ryan Breaks Silence on 'Deadbeat Dad' of Her Teenage Daughter
Canadian comedian Katherine Ryan has broken her years-long silence about the father of her 16-year-old daughter Violet, offering a surprisingly positive perspective on what she terms 'deadbeat dads.' The 42-year-old entertainer, who has never publicly identified Violet's father, revealed this week the minimal role he plays in their daughter's life, claiming he "never pays for anything, hardly makes contact and never makes any sacrifices" for her.
Early Struggles and Single Motherhood
Katherine Ryan fell pregnant with Violet when she was just 25 years old, having recently relocated to the United Kingdom from Canada with her then-boyfriend. She had deliberately tried to conceive after receiving a lupus diagnosis, believing at the time that she would "never split up" with Violet's father. However, their relationship ended just two years after Violet's birth, despite moving to the UK together to pursue comedy careers.
Following the separation, Katherine embarked on what she describes as a "white knuckle ride" to establish herself as a successful single mother. She quickly realized her former partner would not be "beneficial to [her and Violet], financially or logistically," and decided to make her life in London work rather than return to Canada as a single parent, admitting there was "a time when I felt shame about it."
The 'Deadbeat Dad' Philosophy
During her maternity leave from a sales job, Katherine would care for Violet during the day and attempt to break into stand-up comedy at night, often bringing her daughter along to gigs. Now, she has developed a unique philosophy about what she calls "deadbeat dads" - fathers who fail to meet their financial, legal, or emotional parental responsibilities.
On her Telling Everybody Everything podcast in August 2025, Katherine expressed unexpected appreciation for such fathers, stating: "God I love a deadbeat dad, a deadbeat dad will breadcrumb your child, will not pay you anything and at first you might get lost in principal. You might think well that's wrong but people waste their lives fighting for principal."
She urged women to "embrace the lesson that comes with interacting with a deadbeat dad" and recognize that "you can't manipulate people's behaviour even if it's the good of your child." Katherine described how such fathers might "run their mouth about you, lie about you, steal photos that you have published and republish them as his own" or maintain a reputation as an "amazing father" while not having seen their child in over a year.
Changing Perspective as Daughter Grows
Katherine explained that she has been "careful never to s**g him off" and "really protected him while my daughter was young," but now that Violet is 16, she feels less obligated to remain silent. "She can see for herself that unfortunately, he's not a bad person, but he's never made any sacrifices, never paid anything for her, just kind of texts her, which I think is breadcrumbing," Katherine revealed on the Juicy Scoop with Heather McDonald podcast.
She described the limited contact as "better than no contact" but acknowledged "he hasn't been the type of dad that you would want for your daughter." When asked directly if he is involved in Violet's life, Katherine responded simply: "Not really."
Comedy Career and Family Life
Katherine said she and Violet's father - another Canadian comedian she met on the comedy circuit - were already struggling in their relationship before Violet's birth. "We weren't really good even before that," she explained. "So as soon as I had her, I was like, oh gosh, I'm going to have to make a go of this myself."
She believed stand-up comedy was "conducive to single motherhood because you can be home in the day" and began touring properly when Violet was three or four years old, taking her daughter everywhere. "The UK is so amazing for stand-up because it is small, but there are gigs in all these towns and cities every night of the week," she noted.
Katherine, who stars in The Duchess, now has three younger children with her husband Bobby Kootstra, 43: Fred, four; Fenna, three; and Holland, born in October 2025. Despite her current family situation, she maintains her unique perspective on absent fathers, even joking that she "would be a great dad" as a "non-contact parent" because "it's so easy."
She described the minimal effort required: "All you have to do with a teenage girl is drive to the mother's house, send her a text, and go, 'Do you want to come get a Starbucks with me?'" Katherine concluded with her signature blend of humor and realism: "I love, love, love, love everything about a deadbeat dad, my favourite dads!"
