Meg Keneally's Family Wisdom: Turning Barbs into Peace Through Biblical Advice
Meg Keneally and her celebrated father, author Thomas Keneally, share a profound family philosophy that has been passed down through generations. Their approach to handling life's inevitable barbs and grievances originates from ancient Biblical wisdom, yet remains strikingly relevant in contemporary life.
A Teenage Struggle Transformed
As a young teenager in the 1980s, Meg Keneally faced the typical cruelties of adolescence with particular sensitivity. She recalls stumbling home from school, burdened by taunts about her weight, physical changes, and unfortunate hairstyling experiments. Like many teenagers, she would relay every perceived insult and slight to her parents, seeking validation and support.
While her mother's instinct was to call for divine retribution against the perpetrators, her father offered a radically different perspective. "Be nice to them," Thomas Keneally advised his daughter. "Give your tormentors so much sweetness that they develop diabetes."
The Counterintuitive Path to Peace
To a self-absorbed teenager convinced of her unique suffering, this advice initially sounded like nonsense. Meg questioned whether this was merely "turn-the-other-cheek rubbish" without substance or practical value. Her father responded with his distinctive cackle and explained the psychological underpinnings: "They don't know how to handle it. They just don't know what to do – it drives them crazy!"
Despite her skepticism, Meg decided to test this unconventional approach. To her surprise, responding to cruelty with unexpected kindness proved remarkably effective. Beyond the initial satisfaction of witnessing her tormentors' confusion, she discovered this wasn't merely a tactical maneuver but a genuine pathway to personal peace.
Releasing the Emotional Ledger
As she matured, Meg gradually abandoned what she describes as "keeping an emotional ledger" – the exhausting practice of believing every wrong, whether real or perceived, must be addressed and resolved before one can move forward. She discovered that extending grace to those who had wronged her stopped the corrosive anxiety of needing to balance that ledger constantly.
"I found that giving grace to those I felt wronged by stopped the corrosive angst of needing to balance that ledger," she reflects. While acknowledging she doesn't always get it right and that some situations require confrontation, every misstep reinforces the value of her father's advice.
Ancient Wisdom in Modern Context
Thomas Keneally traces this family philosophy to Biblical sources, particularly the Book of Proverbs attributed to King Solomon. The passage advises: "if thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink. For you shall heap coals of fire upon his head..."
This imagery, while initially suggesting punishment, actually describes a psychological phenomenon. As Thomas explains, the "coals of fire" represent the tormenting questions raised in the target of kindness: Didn't they notice the attack? Did they misinterpret it as friendly banter? Do they consider the attacker unworthy of holding a grievance against?
Family Traditions and Lasting Lessons
The Keneally family history includes its share of long-held grievances. Thomas recalls his father nurturing resentment over an insult from a cousin in a bush post office during the 1920s. When his Aunt Annie visited, she would gently remind his father: "Tommy, don't forget that if you make peace, you heap coals of fire on your enemy's head."
This family wisdom, passed through generations, represents more than conflict resolution strategy. It embodies a profound understanding of human psychology and the transformative power of unexpected responses. By framing kindness as a way to wrongfoot tormentors rather than simply advocating forgiveness, Thomas ensured his teenage daughter would actually implement the advice.
Today, both Meg and Thomas recognize the deeper value of this approach – not merely as psychological warfare but as a genuine path to personal liberation from the burden of grievances. Their family's home truth continues to resonate, demonstrating how ancient wisdom can provide practical guidance for navigating modern interpersonal challenges.
