In a world where societal expectations often push individuals towards marriage or solitary living, two women from South Korea have pioneered a refreshing alternative. Kim Hana and Hwang Sunwoo, both in their forties, have embraced a unique form of companionship as platonic partners, sharing a home and life without romantic ties. Their story, detailed in the Korean bestseller Two Women Living Together, now published in the UK, offers a compelling narrative on redefining modern relationships.
A Journey Away from Loneliness and Marriage
Kim Hana reflects on her decade of living alone, a period marked by unnoticed emotional tolls and late-night worries. She realised that the weariness she felt signalled a need for change, but marriage did not appeal to her. Viewing it as a potentially draining institution entangled with in-laws and patriarchy, she sought a different path. Similarly, Hwang Sunwoo had grown tired of solitary life and was exploring new ways to connect. Their shared backgrounds from Busan, similar ages, long histories of living alone, and mutual desire for companionship without husbands brought them together, along with their love for cats—each owning two.
Creating a Shared Home and Life
On 6 December 2016, Hana and Sunwoo officially became homeowners, purchasing a spacious apartment with bank assistance. This decision allowed them to enjoy a larger living space, doubling the size of their previous cramped accommodations. The benefits were immediate: their cats gained freedom to roam, and they finally had a bathtub, a luxury previously unattainable due to space constraints. Over the past ten years, they have perfected their cohabitation, with a clear chore distribution—Sunwoo handles cooking, tidying, and laundry loading, while Hana manages dishes, cleaning, and laundry putting away.
The emotional warmth of shared living has been transformative for Hana. Sensing another person's presence in the house brings comfort, and daily greetings like Did you sleep well? or You're home! add vibrancy to their routines. Unlike living alone, where maintaining an emotional temperature required effort, it now comes naturally with Sunwoo around. Both women cherish their single status, visiting parents during holidays without the pressures of in-laws, and receiving supportive gestures like side dishes from Sunwoo's mum.
Challenging Societal Norms and Looking to the Future
Hana and Sunwoo's arrangement challenges conventional views on households. In South Korea, where single-person households account for 36 per cent, they liken individuals to atoms that can bond into molecules. They envision a future with diverse living configurations beyond the traditional married couple, describing their own setup as W2 C4—two women and four cats—a stable and happy molecule.
Advocating for Legal Recognition and Broader Change
Sunwoo emphasises the contentment of being unmarried, a secret she feels the world overlooks. She advocates for a term like life companion to better represent their relationship, highlighting the need for legal recognition. This is reflected in discussions around the Life Partnership Act in South Korea, which would offer tax benefits and health insurance access to cohabiting partners, similar to France's Civil Solidarity Pact (PACS).
As life expectancy approaches one hundred, Sunwoo notes that societal structures are evolving faster than laws, with people moving away from lifelong commitments to companies or traditional family bonds. She predicts a rise in unmarried couples, divorcees, and widowed individuals seeking companionship with friends, much like their own story.
A Bond Built on Trust and Joy
Reflecting on their partnership, Sunwoo quotes Haruki Murakami: When it's good, it's great, a sentiment that perfectly captures their relationship. She values Hana's ability to laugh at bad jokes, share silly dances, and offer reassurance on tough days. Despite the possibility of change, Sunwoo hopes their arrangement endures, prioritising the well-being of their four cats and the unique bond they've built.
Adapted from Two Women Living Together by Hwang Sunwoo and Kim Hana, translated by Gene Png and published by Doubleday at £16.99, this story inspires a rethink of companionship in modern society.
