For many families, the festive period offers a rare, uninterrupted chance to spend extended time with elderly relatives. It is during these moments that subtle changes, often missed in brief phone calls, can become starkly apparent. This is why the NHS is launching a crucial campaign this Christmas, urging loved ones to use family gatherings as an opportunity to look out for the early signs of dementia.
A Story of Heartbreaking Realisation
Sarah's story, shared by a colleague in old-age psychiatry, remains a poignant example. A decade ago, on Boxing Day, Sarah watched her father in his mid-70s struggle to make a pot of tea—a task he had performed countless times. He filled the kettle, switched it on, and then stood frozen, staring at the teapot as if he had never seen one before.
"I just stood there frozen," Sarah recalled, tears welling. "He looked so confused. And I thought: how long has this been going on?" The answer was probably more than a year. Living alone since his wife's death, he had seemed fine in short, regular phone calls, perhaps a little forgetful. It was only during several days of close contact that the full picture emerged.
Her father was later diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. While the diagnosis was devastating, it also marked the beginning of accessing support. He lived for another six years with good care and his family around him.
The Critical Signs to Watch For This Festive Season
Dementia is an umbrella term for conditions affecting memory, thinking, and daily activities, including Alzheimer's disease, vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and frontotemporal dementia. Symptoms vary, but there are common early warnings to observe during prolonged visits.
Repeating questions or stories within minutes is a key sign. While everyone retells anecdotes, asking the same question three times during dinner is different.
Struggling with familiar tasks, like the person who has made the Christmas pudding for 40 years suddenly forgetting the recipe, or becoming confused by a well-known oven, is a major red flag.
Watch for problems following group conversations around the dinner table. Difficulty finding words or appearing withdrawn during chats can be indicative, though it's also worth considering if hearing loss—a dementia risk factor—is a contributor.
Other signs include confusion about time and place (like being unsure what day it is at a relative's house), unexplained personality or mood changes, misplacing items in bizarre locations (keys in the fridge), and showing unusually poor judgment, such as falling for scams.
What's Normal Ageing and What's Not?
It's vital not to mistake normal ageing for dementia. Occasional forgetfulness, like briefly forgetting a name, needing lists more often, taking longer to learn a new smartphone, or searching for a word, is typical. Being muddled after a festive drink or occasionally losing your glasses is also normal.
The crucial distinction is that normal age-related forgetfulness is mild and doesn't significantly disrupt daily life. Dementia, however, progressively hinders a person's ability to manage everyday activities.
Why Early Diagnosis Is a Lifeline
Around one million people in the UK live with dementia, yet the Alzheimer's Society estimates one in three do not have a diagnosis. This leaves hundreds of thousands struggling without access to vital support, treatments, and practical help.
Early detection is empowering. While there is no cure, treatments can slow progression. For Alzheimer's, medications like donepezil can help maintain cognitive function longer when started early. For vascular dementia, managing underlying conditions like high blood pressure is key.
An early diagnosis also allows time to plan for the future, make legal and financial arrangements, adapt homes for safety, and connect with support services like memory cafés and cognitive stimulation therapy.
Most importantly, it often brings relief, replacing confusion and fear with understanding and a clear path forward for the whole family.
What to Do If You Have Concerns
If the festive season raises worries, don't delay. The first step is to gently encourage a visit to the GP. After the festivities, in a quiet moment, you might say: "I've noticed you've seemed a bit more forgetful lately and I want to make sure everything's okay. Would you be willing to have a chat with your doctor?"
The GP can then refer them to a memory clinic for a full assessment, which may include memory tests and scans.
This Christmas, enjoy the celebrations. But if you observe a pattern of concerning changes, have the courage to act. It could be the most important step in securing support and improving quality of life for someone you love.
