Professor Green Opens Up About Suicide Fears Following Family Tragedies
In a deeply emotional and candid conversation, Professor Green has shared his profound fears about taking his own life, revealing that his father, uncle, and great uncle all died by suicide. The 42-year-old singer, whose real name is Stephen Paul Manderson, spoke openly on Pete Wicks' podcast Man Made, detailing his ongoing mental health struggles and the heavy impact of these family losses.
Genetic Concerns and Personal Struggles
During the interview, Professor Green fought back tears as he admitted he is "not in a good place at the moment" and is "going through a lot." He highlighted a troubling pattern in his family, noting, "I'm the same age my dad was when he took his own life, two years before that his brother. My namesake, his uncle, when he was 19. Never met him, he died before I was born." Expressing fears of a genetic link, he argued against speculation that ADHD is not genetic, suggesting a hereditary component to these tragedies.
Childhood Trauma and Emotional Regulation
The rapper also touched on his upbringing, raised by his great grandmother until her death when he was 13. He described the aftermath as a time of immense difficulty, saying, "There was no comfort, I couldn't regulate. There was no space for that. There was no more blue blanket that I could get under." This loss left him without emotional support, compounding his struggles.
Shared Experiences with Pete Wicks
Pete Wicks, the podcast host, related to Professor Green's pain by sharing his own experience with suicide. He revealed that at age 11, he saved his mother's life when she attempted to take her own life. Pete reflected, "She was going to leave me, because I wasn't good enough. I didn't understand the pain she was in." He questioned whether such trauma is environmentally passed down, asking Professor Green if he fears having the capacity to leave people behind. Professor Green's voice broke as he affirmed this fear with a simple "yeah."
Fatherhood and Personal Challenges
Professor Green, who is a father to a son from his relationship with ex Fae Williams, mused on the difficulties of balancing personal pain with parental responsibilities. He said, "And you just end up at home crying right? That's where I've been of late. And it's hard, I've got a son to show up for. And I do, and I will." He also discussed his grandmother's early onset dementia, expressing frustration over her inability to communicate about past events, which left him feeling misunderstood and isolated.
Relationship History and Recent Events
The article delves into Professor Green's personal life, including his marriage to former Made In Chelsea star Millie Mackintosh from 2013 to 2016. He described their relationship as a "trauma bond" over undiagnosed ADHD, stating, "We loved each other. It was probably an element of trauma bonding." Despite their acrimonious divorce, he has expressed no resentment, calling Millie "beautiful" and hoping for mutual happiness.
Recently, Professor Green shared a cryptic social media post about "sailing ships," shortly after Millie confirmed her separation from her second husband, Hugo Taylor. This post, featuring a video of a boat colliding with a Barclays bank branch, was captioned, "That ship has sailed... not very far it hasn't!" hinting at ongoing connections or reflections on past relationships.
Broader Implications and Support
This heartfelt discussion underscores the importance of mental health awareness and the need for support systems. Professor Green's openness about his fears and family history serves as a poignant reminder of the silent struggles many face, encouraging conversations around suicide prevention and emotional well-being.
