Former Made in Chelsea star Millie Mackintosh has spoken candidly about her complex relationship with alcohol, the pervasive feeling of shame, and her path to sobriety in her powerful new book, Bad Drunk. In an exclusive interview, Mackintosh revealed the deeply personal reasons behind writing the book and her mission to help others in the 'grey area' of drinking.
Confronting Shame and Sharing Her Story
When discussing Bad Drunk, Mackintosh doesn't shy away from difficult topics. The conversation quickly turns to shame, a theme that permeates her journey. Despite her carefully curated Instagram presence and enviable wellness routine featuring smoothies and Pilates, Mackintosh confesses to experiencing significant self-loathing and confidence issues, which ultimately motivated her to write her book.
"I really wanted to write this book because I wish I had read it," Mackintosh explains. "I wish I'd read it as a young girl, as a teen, and I also wish I'd had it when I stopped drinking to support me through that process." She aims to help others who, like her, didn't necessarily need rehabilitation or find Alcoholics Anonymous suitable but wanted to fundamentally change their relationship with alcohol.
In Bad Drunk, Mackintosh documents weekends lost to hangovers, picking unnecessary fights, struggling to care for her children, experiencing uncontrollable anxiety, and entering a destructive cycle of deteriorating self-esteem that led to increased drinking and prescription tranquilliser use. Recording and publishing these shameful memories represented a significant personal risk. "I thought if I'm going to do the book, I really can't hold back," she states.
Finding Alternatives in the Sober Community
Having faced unpleasant tabloid coverage during her television career, Mackintosh understood the vulnerability of sharing her most uncomfortable experiences. However, she believed that including these raw details would create genuine connections with readers. "It's been really cathartic and energetically freeing now it's out. I feel lighter like I can really let go," she shares. "Shining a light on the darker parts of me, bringing them out into the light – I think that's a really important way to let go of shame."
Mackintosh addresses how terms like 'sober' or 'alcoholic' carry negative connotations and stigma, potentially preventing people from seeking help. She identifies a growing movement of people, particularly mothers and individuals in their 30s who've struggled with alcohol since their teens, now recognising they need to significantly reduce or completely stop drinking. "I feel like there's a huge movement of people that are in this grey area that is not really talked about," she observes.
While acknowledging the value of 12-step programs, Mackintosh wanted to highlight alternative support systems. She incorporated various resources into her book, including information about different coaches and group courses. Mackintosh personally worked with a sober coach, which she found eye-opening and tremendously helpful. "My coach was the one who made me see how dangerous my behaviour around alcohol had become," she reveals. "He really helped me to understand the reasons behind wanting to drink in the way that I was and how destructive that was."
Transforming Self-Perception Through Sobriety
Mackintosh's drinking pattern wasn't characterised by daily dependence or physical withdrawal, but by an inability to stop once she started. "Every time I drank, I wanted to just keep drinking and drinking and drinking and I didn't know when to stop," she confesses. The coaching process initially felt uncomfortable, particularly when exploring childhood connections, but ultimately led to significant breakthroughs and new sober friendships.
The sober curious community continues expanding across the UK, with alcohol-free clubs, bars, social gatherings, and online meetings creating alternatives to the binge-drinking culture that dominated the early 2000s. This represents a dramatic shift from Mackintosh's Made in Chelsea days spent in West London cocktail bars.
Today, Mackintosh maintains a rigorous wellness routine that begins with waking at 5:45am for transcendental meditation, followed by a Symprove probiotic shot, breakfast with her children supplemented with AG1 greens powder, and Pilates classes. Her 8:45pm bedtime demonstrates remarkable commitment to self-care.
"When you start valuing yourself and loving yourself, I think it becomes easier to have that strength," Mackintosh reflects. "Making that first big choice to stop drinking felt incredibly hard. And at that point, I actually really disliked myself, but that was the first step towards reclaiming my relationship with myself."
Now embracing exercise most mornings because she knows it makes her feel good, Mackintosh has transformed her life. Her central message resonates powerfully: "sobriety is sexy – sobriety is cool." She aims to become a role model in the sober space, concluding: "My only regret was not stopping sooner."
Bad Drunk is available to purchase now through Amazon. The book release comes as the no, low and sober curious movement gains significant momentum throughout the United Kingdom.
