Ruth O'Grady, a Welsh woman, claims she was pressured into having sex with strangers more than 100 times after joining the swinging website FabSwingers at the urging of her then-husband. Her allegations are the focus of a new BBC Sounds podcast investigation, which also uncovered hundreds of police crime reports referencing the UK's most popular swinging platform.
Allegations of Coercion and Abuse
Ms O'Grady says she was pressured into joining the platform and participating in sexual encounters with other men over an 18-month period. Her former husband did not respond to the allegations when approached by the BBC. The north Wales woman decided to come forward after following the widely publicised case of French woman Gisèle Pelicot, whose husband was convicted of arranging for men to rape her while unconscious. Although she stressed that her own experience was different, Ms O'Grady said the public reaction left a lasting impression. 'Everyone was so shocked. I got really, really angry because I wasn't shocked at all,' she said. 'That's what motivated me because I am fed up with the shock.'
Police Reports and Legal Action
Freedom of information requests to all 45 UK police forces identified 329 crime reports referencing FabSwingers between the beginning of 2023 and April 2026 – an average of one report every three days. The reports included allegations of rape, serious sexual offences, controlling and coercive behaviour, harassment, blackmail, stalking, and assault. The investigation found 26 individuals had been charged or summonsed in cases where FabSwingers was mentioned, while 23 cases remain ongoing.
Expert Perspectives on Consent
Experts interviewed for the series said experiences like Ms O'Grady's highlight the complexity of consent within relationships. Professor Nicola Gavey of the University of Auckland, who has researched unwanted sex since the 1980s, said people can sometimes consent to sex they do not want because of pressure or expectations. 'It's quite possible for people to consent to sex they don't want,' she said. 'It can take people time to understand what was happening to them.'
Rachel Horman-Brown, a solicitor and honorary KC specialising in domestic abuse, said she had seen cases where swinging was exploited by abusive partners. She said sharing intimate photographs and videos can leave victims feeling trapped and vulnerable. 'Swinging is a perfect tool for perpetrators to use against their partners, their victims,' she said. 'Often they feel that they can't speak to the police because they feel that they are to blame in some way.'
Support and Survivor Accounts
Domestic abuse charity Refuge said its national helpline receives calls from women pressured into swinging who are often unsure whether what they experienced amounts to abuse. Claire Waters-Bannister, the independent domestic violence adviser who worked on Ms O'Grady's case, said survivors can appear willing or enthusiastic as a way of protecting themselves from further harm. 'Sex is often used – it's very common for survivors to appear consenting, compliant, and even enthusiastic around pleasing their partners,' she said. 'It reduces future risk, it can prevent anger, prevent retaliation. Thousands of people like Ruth go through this yearly.'
FabSwingers Response
When approached by the BBC, FabSwingers said consent was the foundation of swinging and it complied with Ofcom requirements for platforms operating in the sector. The company said if it became aware of criminal behaviour, including non-consensual activity, it would take action and encourage users to report incidents both to the website and to the police. Ms O'Grady disputes this and said she made multiple reports to the site about the behaviour of men she met through the platform.
Personal Journey and Hope for Change
Ms O'Grady left her husband in 2023 and told the BBC that an episode of the television series Black Mirror helped prompt her decision after he described an episode featuring what she considered sexual degradation and humiliation as funny. Now rebuilding her life, she hopes sharing her story will encourage wider discussion about consent, coercion, and abuse. 'If even one woman recognises herself and realises she is doing things she does not want to do it would be enough,' she said. The podcast 'Swingers' is available on BBC Sounds, commissioned by BBC Cymru Wales.
