Two fathers, one Israeli and one Palestinian, have transformed personal tragedy into a powerful force for peace, now calling each other brother as they campaign to end the brutal conflict between their nations. Rami Elhanan and Bassam Aramin, both bereaved by violence, spoke at an event in Dublin hosted by the charity Trocaire, sharing their journey from opposing sides to a united front for reconciliation.
From Conflict to Compassion: A Shared Path
Rami Elhanan, a 76-year-old veteran of the Yom Kippur War, saw his life change dramatically in 1997 when his 14-year-old daughter Smadar was killed by Palestinian suicide bombers while shopping for school books in Jerusalem. Initially suspicious and cynical, he attended a meeting of bereaved parents organized by The Parents Circle – Families Forum (PCFF), a joint Israeli-Palestinian group. "I was 47-years-old, and until today, I’m ashamed to admit it was the first time ever in my life I’d met Palestinians as human beings," he recalled, describing how the encounter shifted his perspective and ignited his peace activism.
A Friendship Forged in Grief
Through grassroots movements, Elhanan met Bassam Aramin in 2005 via Combatants for Peace. Aramin, now 57, had been jailed at age 17 for throwing hand grenades at Israeli jeeps. Their bond deepened in 2007 when Aramin's 10-year-old daughter Abir was shot by the Israeli military in East Jerusalem. "We ran to the hospital," Elhanan said, "We spent two days by her bed until she passed away and for me, it was like losing my daughter for the second time." This shared loss cemented their commitment to peace, with Elhanan proudly stating, "I’m proud that he considers me a brother."
Campaigning for Respect and Understanding
The duo now travels globally, including previous tours in Ireland, using their friendship as a symbol of hope and their tragedies as warnings. They emphasize that mutual respect is essential to ending the conflict. "One word is essential, without it nothing will happen, the word is respect," Elhanan asserted, advocating for bravery and truth-telling to achieve equality and safety for all. Aramin added that learning the humanity of the "enemy" changed his view, especially after meeting Elhanan's father, an Auschwitz survivor, which helped him grasp the Holocaust's horrors.
Overcoming Criticism and Finding Hope
Despite facing criticism from their communities, with some claiming grief has clouded their minds, Elhanan remains resolute. "I lost many friends, I lost many family members, but I get new family members, new friends," he said, focusing on a future where no children die in the Holy Land. Their story inspired the 2020 novel Aperiogon by Irish author Colum McCann, longlisted for the Booker prize. In Ireland, they feel understood and supported, drawing parallels to Northern Ireland's peace process as a beacon of hope. "It’s not written anywhere that we’re going to continue killing each other forever," Aramin concluded, "It must end at one point, and I believe very soon."
