A Defiant Stance on a Crowded Platform
On a bustling Saturday morning around 11 o'clock, the overground station platform was packed with commuters. Amid the throng, a hi-vis-clad Train Lady, roughly the same age as the author, wielded a dispatch baton—a ping-pong paddle-like tool used to signal drivers—and repeatedly shouted, 'MOVE BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE!' at the top of her lungs. Although the next train was still minutes away, the crowd obediently shuffled a few feet back from the platform edge, positioning themselves safely behind the yellow line.
Everyone complied, that is, except for the author. Instead of retreating, she walked past Train Lady on the wrong side of the yellow line, demonstrating what she described as a lifetime skill of walking without tumbling onto railway tracks, and retorted, 'Don't be so ridiculous!' Train Lady appeared both astonished and bewildered by this act of defiance. In her defence, the author noted that she frequents this station at various times and has never witnessed other staff members shouting needlessly at passengers.
A Stirring of Rebellion and Childhood Echoes
This minor transgression, barely registering on any scale of wrongdoing, highlighted the extreme compliance of others in the face of quasi-authority, sparking a deep-seated reaction. It transported the author back beyond the Covid-era authoritarianism to her childhood, a time when she routinely resisted instructions that seemed pointless or stemmed from what she perceived as adult bullying, overreach, or sheer stupidity. Back then, she simply refused to comply, a trait that might now be labelled as 'neurodiverse' in an excitingly special way, though in the 1970s and 80s, it merely meant skipping school, clashing with teachers, and performing poorly in exams.
As she matured, she learned to focus marginally better on undesirable tasks and to withhold unsolicited opinions. However, post-menopause has triggered a reversal, transforming her into a cliché of the 'I'd-like-to-speak-to-the-manager-please' 'Karen.' For the uninitiated, 'Karen' is a slang term denoting a middle-class woman viewed as entitled or excessively demanding.
Living the Peak 'Karen' Life: Unfiltered Honesty Unleashed
Currently embracing her peak 'Karen' existence, the author is becoming increasingly 'honest'—or blunt and unfiltered—in her interactions. She shared several remarks she has genuinely considered but refrained from voicing to various irritants:
- To Train Lady waving her baton with no train in sight: 'I'm 61. Just like all these other perfectly sentient humans on this platform, I have also been on a train.'
- To a 20-something teaching assistant herding children into tube seats: 'My knees are bad, so I'd like one of the kids' seats, please—preferably before they start demanding safe spaces and a support rabbit.'
- To a nurse engrossed in her Instagram feed while a bed-bound patient's call button beeps incessantly: 'Hi! Just a reminder that it's not 2020, so that old gent banging his bedpan isn't giving you and the NHS a round of applause! How about getting off your a**e and doing your job?'
- To a young man wearing a 'she/her' pronoun badge in a customer-facing role: 'I'll have a pot of tea, a slice of that lovely-looking cake… and—random question here!—did your mother always let you have a seat on the tube?'
Embracing Honesty with Age and Self-Reflection
The author has long struggled with being told what to do or how to feel, particularly in navigating modern complexities like gender identity. Yet, the unadulterated joy of aging and gaining wisdom lies in becoming more honest with others and, crucially, with oneself. By acknowledging life's successes and failures, one gains the empowerment to boldly venture where no 'Karen' has gone before. To any dissenters, she offers succinct advice: 'See it, Say it... Shut it!'
