Older Women Share the Raw Truth About Dating in Later Life
From young men seeking no-strings sex to a 92-year-old who lied about his age, older women are revealing the unvarnished reality of dating in their later years. Five women on both sides of the Atlantic, aged 61 to 91, discuss their experiences trying to find a partner in their 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s, highlighting both the struggles and the enduring hope for connection.
Stella Ralfini, 78-year-old beauty writer, London
Stella Ralfini has been single for a decade since her partner passed away. She began dating in her early 70s and has been on 10 dates in the past year alone. Initially, she thought she missed sex or companionship, but she now realises she craves romantic moments like sharing sunsets and picnics. "I want to die in love," she says, "because that's when I felt most alive." She believes the right man exists and is determined to find him.
On dating sites, Stella faced challenges as few men seek a 78-year-old woman. She left Match.com after being accused of using fake or AI-generated photos due to her youthful appearance. While younger men in their 50s showed interest, she prefers someone in their 70s or late 60s to share their final years passionately. She now attends face-to-face events and dinner dances, but often finds men want a woman with grandchildren, which she lacks. Stella dresses stylishly in bright colours, embracing her authentic self in her later years. She dreams of a "cheeky chappy" with a hippy vibe but notes that many older men have "shrunk minds" and lack interest. For her, love outweighs money every time.
Pauline Tomlin, 61-year-old actor, Leeds
Pauline Tomlin describes the dating scene as a "very barren landscape." She observes that men in their 60s often neglect fitness and health, and attractive ones typically seek younger women. She tried online dating briefly but found men using outdated Polaroids from the 1970s as profile pictures. They seemed disinterested in meaningful conversation, often just "fishing for sex."
As an Afro-Caribbean woman, Pauline felt like a curiosity online, with some men failing to understand racial nuances. She stopped after a man became abusive during a chat. In person, men are hesitant to approach her; at a recent party, one waited until she was leaving to ask for her number. She refuses to compromise for companionship, focusing instead on her acting career and hobbies like writing plays and joining a choir. "I'm at peace with my life," she says, though she misses physical affection like hugs.
Bonnie March, 84-year-old pensioner, Palm Springs, Florida
Bonnie March, who came out later in life, felt lonely during Covid and joined Match.com, going on about 20 dates. She found women aged 75 to 85 had "old attitudes" and narrow lives, often prioritising pets over socialising. One date involved a woman without teeth, while another endlessly boasted about her past importance.
Joining the Conscious Girlfriend Academy helped Bonnie embrace her identity. After lowering her age range to 65-75, she met Cheryl Ford, 68, and they connected over shared interests like travel and sports. Their relationship blossomed quickly, filled with laughter and deep conversations.
Cheryl Ford, 71-year-old pensioner, Palm Springs
Cheryl Ford knew she wanted to marry Bonnie within months of meeting. After losing her previous partner, she dated women who often focused on grandchildren or lacked sexual interest. Bonnie stood out as adventurous and unencumbered. They travel extensively, and Cheryl proposed at the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Their wedding, with 100 guests, was a joyous celebration of love, bringing tears of happiness to many who remembered when gay marriage was illegal.
D’yan Forest, 91-year-old comedian, New York
D’yan Forest, who identifies as bisexual, has dated 40-50 men over 30 years. She finds dating harder with age, as many online matches ghost her after initial contact. She prefers younger men, noting older ones often monopolise conversations. One date with a 92-year-old who lied about his age involved inappropriate talk about sexual enhancements.
Through comedy performances, D’yan attracts younger men, but they usually want casual sex, not relationships. She still seeks companionship and sex, emphasising it's part of life. With no family left, she travels hoping to meet someone fun. "It's a lonely world," she admits, "but you've got to have hope."
