Now we know why she remained silent in the police interview. If Nicola Sturgeon had replied 'no comment' to Laura Kuenssberg's every question, she would have come out of Sunday's sit-down with more sympathy and credibility. Instead, she threw herself a one-woman pity party. 'I have been deceived, I’ve been lied to, I’ve been betrayed,' a sniffling Sturgeon told Kuenssberg. Well, it makes a change.
We were told about her shock, her pain, her 'trauma'. At last, we were hearing from the real victim of Mr Murrell’s crime spree: Mrs Murrell. It will have come as a relief to SNP donors whose money was stolen to know Sturgeon is determined to move on with her life.
Sturgeon cuts a thoroughly unsympathetic figure, a ruthless political combatant who showed no mercy to outgunned opponents but has turned pacifist now that the tanks are circling her.
The line she had settled on was marital deceit. She chose her words with telling care. When Kuenssberg asked: 'As the person who shared his life, as his wife, did you really not notice anything?', the former SNP leader responded: 'I absolutely didn’t know he was committing crimes.'
To the untrained ear, that sounds like a clear and unambiguous statement but anyone who has observed Sturgeon long enough will spot the problem right away: it’s not an answer to Kuenssberg’s question.
There was a story about a pendant Murrell had bought for her on a whim and her distress upon learning it had been acquired using party cash. No doubt it was distressing to discover but it was perhaps more distressing for low-paid and lifelong loyal party members who had handed over £20 and £50 they couldn’t afford.
The former First Minister insisted she was uncomfortable with the idea of being thought of as a victim. There’s good news on that front. Her words were just that and nothing more. While disavowing the v-word, she emoted about her agonies like a martyr recounting her suffering. Saint Nicola of the Invisible Camper Van.
Speaking of which, Kuenssberg pressed her on the most notorious motorhome in Scotland. How could she have missed it? It was parked at her mother-in-law’s house. Didn’t she visit her mother-in-law? In earlier times, this would have called for a Les Dawson joke but Sturgeon was entirely serious. She couldn't 'consciously remember' having seen the van and, even if she had, she would likely have assumed it belonged to the neighbours. The imperceptible vehicle in question is 24ft long. Who lived next door? David Copperfield?
Kuenssberg, to her credit, spoke in a sceptical tone and with one eyebrow permanently arched. She repeatedly pushed her subject on her apparent cluelessness about what was going on in her own home. All those two-grand barista machines and she never woke up and smelled the coffee.
For much of the time, there was little that was new and of what was new there was little value. We’d heard it all before. The cod feminism (she was being held accountable for her husband’s crimes). The well-rehearsed denials (she didn’t discourage party figures from coming forward with concerns). The obfuscation (any complaints had been about the £667,000 indyref2 fund, not embezzlement).
One thing was new, as best as I could tell. Kuenssberg was curious as to when it dawned on Sturgeon that there might have been embezzlement. Spring of 2023, she replied, which would have been two years into Operation Branchform. I reckon Columbo’s job is safe. But my ears pricked up at how Sturgeon became aware: 'It became clear that some people who were being interviewed by the police were being asked not just about the issue of referendum funding, but there were questions being asked about the purchase of individual items.' Question: how did she know what others were being asked in police interviews?
In a sign of just how unhooked she has become from reality, a tearful Sturgeon decided it would be wise to lament that she was 'serving a sentence for a crime I did not commit'. The woman spends her days on the books circuit. It’s hardly the exercise yard at Attica. If she reckons her life is a prison, the Hay Festival must really have cut back on its green room budget.
If anyone thinks Sturgeon came out of this interview with her public image enhanced, I have a used camper van to sell them.
