The good news for Rory McIlroy is that the blister on his little toe has stopped causing him pain. The bad news is that if he elected to kick himself with that same right foot, he would likely miss, such was the nature of his opening round at the PGA Championship.
When it was completed to the sorry tune of 74 strokes, placing him four over par and a considerable distance from the lead, his summary of the preceding five and a half hours was rather apt: 'S***.'
Regrettably for those who wished to see the Masters champion thrive at the season's second major, that description was perhaps his most accurate shot all day. He was wonky off the tee, loose on the approach and, in the case of his bogeys on each of the final four holes, poor on the greens.
Had he not haemorrhaged so many shots on that closing stretch, he would have been within reach of the early clubhouse lead, set at three under by Aldrich Potgieter, Stephan Jaeger, Min Woo Lee and Ryo Histsune. But hypotheticals carry no weight on a leaderboard that offered little refuge for the bigger names among the morning starters.
Needless to say, McIlroy was seething, and particularly with the club that has ordinarily been the strongest weapon in his bag. 'I'm just not driving the ball well enough,' he said. 'It's been a problem all year for the most part. I miss it right and then I want to try to correct it and miss it left. That's pretty frustrating, especially when I pride myself on driving the ball well.'
The statistics behind that point told a story — of 14 fairways, he hit only four and none at all on his inward nine holes. It is one thing to miss in a steady pattern, but he was misfiring in two directions, meaning no easy fix on the range.
For the optimists in McIlroy's gallery, it might be argued that he was equally poor with the driver at the Masters and won courtesy of short-game excellence, but Aronimink Golf Club, lined by dense rough, is less forgiving off the tee than Augusta. As a secondary consideration, McIlroy's short game here has not yet been close to what it was in the collection of his second green jacket.
The troubling signs in that regard came early — on his second shot of the day, from the rough on the 10th hole, he duffed his strike from a bad lie and the ball travelled barely 100 yards, helped largely by it moving downhill. From there, McIlroy bogeyed before he stabilised with a birdie on the 12th and saw out the first nine in an even-par 35. That was credible but the absence of chances was glaring and served as a precursor to an implosion, with four shots dropped in succession to close. Three of them saw par putts missed from inside eight feet.
McIlroy's consolation will come from knowing that this course was playing fiendishly tough on a breezy day. Even with the benefit of rain on the eve of the tournament, those lumpy and bumpy greens wreaked havoc on the field and will surely attract grumbles when they bake firmer in the warmer weather forecast for the end of the week. There are already concerns that the 11th, with its brutal back-to-front slope, could become unplayable. That was clearest shown when Bryson DeChambeau tapped a putt down the slope and played his next from 50 feet on the other side of the hole.
In fairness, DeChambeau will not be anyone's idea of a good golfer robbed by unfair conditions — he shot 76 with the small mercy that no spectators were harmed in its creation. 'Fore right' was a regular scream in a round that saw his ball threaten the grandstand on the 17th and the visitors to a concession stand on the second.
At one under par, Jon Rahm is far better placed to assist LIV. On the same mark is Cameron Smith, who shot his first sub-70 round in a major since cashing in with the rebels in 2022.
From the traditional tours, Jordan Spieth hinted that he might yet make another tilt at the one major keeping him from a career slam. Playing alongside McIlroy and Rahm, he raced to three under par but two bogeys in his final three holes sucked some air from the balloon. Nine years on from his third major win, the American is well placed, as was Brooks Koepka, also at one under after some imperious play from tee to green was undermined by his familiar issues with the putter.
One shot better off was England's Dan Brown. At two under par, this son of a Yorkshire pig farmer will be sure to attract a multitude of Davinci Code puns if he sustains his place among the higher reaches of the leaderboard. Former champion Xander Schauffele matched his score of 68. Scottie Scheffler was among the late starters.
