UK Public Underestimates Ex-Partner Abuse Risk, Refuge Data Reveals
New data from the charity Refuge exposes a stark underestimation among the British public regarding the dangers posed by ex-partners in cases of domestic abuse. According to figures from Refuge's helpline, a significant 42% of callers seeking assistance identify a former partner as their abuser, underscoring the prevalence of harm that persists long after relationships have ended.
Despite this alarming statistic, a survey of the wider national population reveals a concerning gap in awareness. YouGov data commissioned by Refuge found that while 71% of UK adults correctly identified that a woman is most likely to be abused by someone she knows, only 12% of that group recognised an ex-partner as the most probable perpetrator. In contrast, 78% pointed to a current partner, indicating a widespread failure to acknowledge the ongoing threat from former relationships.
Personal Accounts Highlight Coercive Control Tactics
Sasha*, a survivor who separated from her partner and the father of her child in 2012, shared her harrowing experience of stalking and harassment. Even after moving house, her ex-partner used metadata from photos she sent of their son to geolocate her new address. He also followed her to family events like the Notting Hill carnival, weaponising cultural celebrations to inflict distress. "For him to weaponise those events was incredibly difficult and eventually made me stop going," Sasha recounted.
The situation escalated when her ex-partner made threats of suicide, blaming her for his actions. When she checked on him, he laughed at her concern, revealing the manipulative nature of his behaviour. This pattern of coercive and controlling conduct, criminalised in England and Wales since 2015, has been further addressed through the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, which specifically targets post-separation abuse and came into force in April 2023.
Children and Courts Used as Tools of Abuse
Charlotte Eastop, senior operations manager at Refuge, emphasised that a "huge proportion" of calls involve victims of post-separation abuse, which remains poorly recognised. She noted that abusers often exploit children to maintain control, such as by demanding visits or alienating the victim through manipulation. Family courts can also become a method of control, with abusers subtly bending court-ordered agreements to disrupt the victim's life.
Eastop highlighted that this form of abuse is frequently dismissed by authorities, with police sometimes minimising threats by focusing on child access. "Even, unfortunately, with some domestic abuse agencies, she might be labelled as a 'historical survivor' where the threat is not there right now, but actually it is and it's continuing," she explained. This can lead to overwhelming hopelessness for victims who feel their efforts to seek help are in vain.
Calls for Improved Training and Awareness
While post-separation abuse is now a criminal offence, Eastop stressed the need for more mandatory training and awareness among police and judiciary members to ensure adequate responses. "Legislation takes time to really embed," she said, adding that separation periods are particularly dangerous due to escalation risks. Enhanced understanding of ongoing impacts is crucial for protecting victims effectively.
This data and personal testimonies underscore the urgent need for greater public and institutional recognition of ex-partner abuse, as current perceptions lag behind the reality faced by many survivors in the UK.
