A Father's Journey: From Tragedy to Regeneration After Wife's Murder
Stuart Green, a British father, has spent nearly a decade navigating the aftermath of a horrific event that shattered his family. His wife, Mia Mascariñas-Green, a dedicated human and environmental rights lawyer, was brutally murdered in the Philippines when two gunmen fired close to 30 bullets into the family car. Her three children were in the back seat during the attack, yet miraculously, they escaped unharmed. Green describes his children as "walking, breathing, laughing miracles", a testament to their survival against all odds.
The Daily Struggle and Hidden Truths
In the years following the tragedy, Green faced the mundane challenges of parenthood with an unspoken burden. The school run, a routine task for most, became a minefield of awkward questions and half-truths. When other parents inquired, "Is Mummy at work?", Green would often reply with a simplified version of reality: "I'm a single parent." The full story—a tale of violence, loss, and resilience—was too complex for fleeting conversations at the school gates.
Having settled back in the UK, Green worried that his family might be forever defined by tragedy. In an age where Google searches can reduce a person to their worst moments, he feared being seen solely as a grieving father trapped in shock. Now, he is reclaiming his narrative, shifting from a negative to a positive perspective through his new book, The Regenerate Leap, published this month.
A New Approach to Trauma and Recovery
As a marine biologist with a background in sustainability consulting, Green found traditional grief literature lacking. He grew frustrated with books that emphasised "inner strength" and resilience, feeling these concepts were inadequate for a loss as profound as his. "It was a wipeout," he says, describing how his family lost not just a wife and mother, but also their home, dogs, and entire life in a beloved country. "So there is no resilience," he concludes, highlighting the need for a different approach.
Instead, Green introduces the concept of regeneration in his book. He defines it as "not the absence of pain" but "transforming your pain into your purpose". Drawing on a powerful metaphor, he compares crises to forest fires that cause pine cones to release their seeds under intense heat. Similarly, he argues that traumatic events can "crack us open" to reveal dormant strengths and new possibilities.
Empowering the Next Generation
For years, Green shielded his young children from the gruesome details of their mother's murder. Today, they know the full story, which he reframes as an "empowering truth": "their mother died fighting for justice, and they carry her courage forward". This perspective has helped his eldest daughter, Grace Sr, now 18, transform from a "traumatised teenager into a young woman of remarkable wisdom, purpose and capability", as described by her therapist.
Grace Sr testified in court at age 10 regarding her mother's murder and the attempted murder of herself and her siblings. Inspired by her mother's legacy, she plans to become a lawyer and played a key role in editing her father's book to ensure it resonates with young people facing adversity. The case in the Philippines continues, with one suspect detained and another at large.
Writing as a Path to Healing
Green emphasises that writing The Regenerate Leap has been instrumental in his family's regeneration. He describes the process as a shift "from victim to author; from someone to whom things happen to someone who chooses what those things mean and what comes next". By reframing their experience, the Greens aim to help others navigate traumatic crises, not just to survive, but to thrive.
While Green acknowledges nervousness about the increased attention from publishing the book, he embraces it as part of his reality. "This is my way to share it," he says, hoping to inspire others to find purpose in pain. The Regenerate Leap is set for release on 28 January, offering a beacon of hope for those grappling with life's inevitable horrors.
