Agony aunt Coleen Nolan has offered her guidance to a young woman who finds herself unexpectedly put off by a new partner's overwhelming enthusiasm. The reader, a woman in her 20s, sought advice in a letter published on 19th December 2025.
The Reader's Modern Dating Dilemma
The woman explained she had been dating an attractive and interesting man for just a few weeks. However, his eagerness was becoming a significant issue for her. She confessed she was not accustomed to such a high level of attention, especially so early in a relationship, having typically dated men who were less communicative and left her guessing about their feelings.
The pace of the relationship had been notably rapid. Within the first few weeks, they had already been away for a weekend together. She had met his colleagues for an evening drink, been introduced to his parents and sister, and even met the family dog. Coupled with this was a constant stream of text messages, leaving the reader feeling overwhelmed and missing her personal space.
Weighing Up the Red Flags
The reader expressed confusion, questioning whether she was overthinking the situation or being ungrateful for a man who clearly showed strong interest. While her friends thought he was great, they had only met him briefly. Her core dilemma was whether to suggest cooling things off to gain some downtime to process her feelings, all while being mindful not to hurt him and acknowledging he might actually be perfect for her.
She directly asked Coleen: "Is this situation giving red flags or should I be more open to romance?"
Coleen Nolan's Expert Relationship Advice
In her response, Coleen Nolan provided a balanced and practical perspective. She acknowledged that the couple had "packed a lot into a few weeks," which naturally led to the intense feelings. Her primary advice was not to panic and end things, but to openly communicate her feelings to see how he responded.
Honesty was highlighted as the crucial foundation. Coleen suggested the reader explain that she is enjoying his company but feels things are moving quickly. She should articulate her need for some personal space and time for other people in her life, framing it as being unaccustomed to such high levels of enthusiasm.
Coleen pointed out that a mature, positive response from him—giving her the requested space—would be an excellent sign for the relationship's future. She encouraged the reader to "start as you mean to go on with openness and honesty."
Reframing the Situation
The agony aunt also offered a reframe for the reader's past dating experiences. She questioned whether previous boyfriends' aversion to commitment was more of a red flag than a man who is clearly interested and seeking a serious relationship.
Coleen emphasised the importance of maintaining a healthy balance, noting that "it’s nice to miss each other a bit" and keep an element of flirtation alive to avoid taking each other for granted.
Her final, reassuring advice was simple: if it feels too much, space things out and slow the pace down. The solution doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing approach, but rather a thoughtful adjustment of the relationship's tempo to suit both partners.
