Fearne Cotton has revealed she felt 'shame' after the horrific crimes of paedophile Lostprophets frontman Ian Watkins were reported during her BBC Radio 1 show. The presenter briefly dated Watkins around 2005, when he was at the peak of his fame as a musician and before anything was known of his depraved behaviour.
Watkins, who was stabbed to death in prison last year, was serving a 35-year sentence after being convicted of 13 child sexual offences, with charges including conspiring to rape an 11-month-old baby and three counts of sexual assault involving children.
In her new book 'Likeable', Cotton reflects on how her need to please dominated her career. She recalls working at Radio 1 when 'a horrible news story that doesn't involve me yet has a tenuous and life-altering link to me will be broadcast on my own radio show again that day'. According to reports, she felt 'shame' made it almost impossible to continue on air.
The presenter also shared that she felt sick while on air but tried to stay upbeat and 'shoved down the anger, the rage, the sorrow and tears'. She describes it as a time of 'depression and a heaviness' but holds back from sharing too much detail over fears of sensational reporting.
Cotton writes that she no longer carries that shame after seeking therapy and understanding that it 'belongs to others' who have been in her life. 'Men who have shamed me, treated me badly and left me lumbered with it,' she adds.
Explaining the scrutiny on social media, Cotton admitted: 'I stopped trying to be funny, I limited how much of myself I gave away, I diluted my personality to a weak imitation of the person I used to be. And then I quit.' She left Radio 1 in 2015 after struggling with anxiety.
