In a recent advice column, Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman tackles a series of relationship dilemmas, offering straight-talking guidance to readers facing heartbreak, trust issues, and difficult decisions.
Reader Considers Paying for Sex After Repeated Betrayals
A reader, who has experienced multiple heartbreaks and financial losses from past partners, is contemplating visiting a private club or adult massage parlour for paid sexual encounters. He recounts being jilted two days before his wedding, losing £20,000 in wedding expenses and a honeymoon to the Maldives, and later having a partner steal his car and empty his bank account. Most recently, in 2023, he gave £20,000 for an 'emergency operation' only for the partner to return to her ex-boyfriend. He describes himself as 'bitter and sexually frustrated'.
Jane O'Gorman advises against turning to sex workers, urging the reader to step back and take stock. She notes that his biggest 'crime' may have been being too kind and generous, and encourages him to toughen up, treat future partners as equals, and learn from past mistakes. She emphasises checking for red flags and being wary when money is mentioned early in a relationship.
Ex-Girlfriend Moves On Too Quickly
Another reader expresses distress that his ex-girlfriend of five years has already started a new relationship with a colleague she met in March, just weeks after their breakup. He feels protective over their shared dog and questions whether the relationship meant anything.
Jane advises the reader to accept the end of the relationship and let his ex go, trusting that the dog will be cared for. She encourages him to be the bigger person, hold his head high, and focus on moving forward, acknowledging that long-term breakups are hard but necessary for personal growth.
Man Struggles with Unrequited Love and Spiteful Marriage
A third reader admits he cannot stand his wife but is obsessed with a neighbour who rejects him. He had a one-night stand with the neighbour in March, which she now claims was the worst of her life, yet he loved it. His wife refuses to divorce him out of spite and recently grabbed his credit card to spend £200 online to punish him.
Jane advises the reader to stop the affair and come clean with his wife about his feelings. She notes that staying married out of spite is unhealthy and that both partners should discuss where things are going wrong.
Partner's Phone Sex Addiction Causes Strain
A final reader reveals that her partner has admitted to having phone sex with strangers while she is at work, claiming boredom. He only confessed after she questioned his habit of initiating sex immediately upon her return home.
Jane recommends suggesting a new career or retraining if boredom is the issue, and encouraging the partner to see a GP if phone sex has become an addiction. She stresses the importance of open discussion about his shame and the deeper problems in the relationship.
