From Traditional Dreams to Polyamorous Reality
Progressive Seattle author Lindy West, 44, has candidly shared the transformative moment she ceased feeling 'devastated' by her husband's desire for an open marriage. This pivotal shift occurred when she participated in a threesome with her husband and his girlfriend, a woman she once envied. West married trumpeter Ahamefule Oluo, 43, eleven years ago, initially envisioning a conventional life together.
A Foundation of Honesty and Hesitation
'I thought we would probably have a baby and buy a house and continue to work together,' West told The New York Times in a recent interview. However, Oluo had subtly introduced the concept of polyamory during a brief breakup in 2011, expressing his belief that monogamy was not healthy for him due to past divorces linked to possessiveness and jealousy. West tacitly acknowledged this possibility but dismissed it as unrealistic at the time, hoping for a traditional marital path.
The Crisis and Confrontation
The issue resurfaced dramatically in 2019 when West discovered Oluo had been seen kissing another woman, Roya Amirsoleymani, at a bar. West's initial reaction was one of profound distress. 'My initial reaction was, I was devastated,' she admitted. 'Our initial conversation was a lot of me crying and being like, I don't want anyone else.' Fearing the end of her marriage, she refused to discuss it, despite having technically agreed to non-monogamy earlier.
West described behaving childishly, peppering Oluo with insecure questions like, 'Is she prettier than me? Do you love her more than me?' Oluo reassured her, stating, 'No. She's a really good person, and you're just different. You're my wife. I don't love anybody more than you.' This reassurance provided a fragile foundation for further exploration.
An Unexpected Connection Blossoms
West decided to embark on a solo road trip for self-discovery, a decision that felt liberating as she no longer feared Oluo falling in love with someone else in her absence. Just before her departure, Oluo revealed that Amirsoleymani had a crush on West, a revelation that immediately shifted her perspective. 'I was immediately like, "Oh, I like her a lot more all of a sudden,"' West recalled.
This sparked a flirtatious exchange of photos, with West sending a provocative snap after seeing one of Amirsoleymani. Upon returning to Seattle, West invited Amirsoleymani to one of Oluo's shows, where they held hands and West felt a protective instinct when a drunk man grabbed Amirsoleymani's arm. 'The feeling I had was like: "That's my girlfriend. Why would you think you can just touch her?"' she said.
The Triad Takes Shape
That night, the trio engaged in a threesome that West described as 'really fun and hot.' She noted the unexpected comfort and sweetness of the experience, questioning, 'Why was this so comfortable? Why was this so sweet and peaceful and easy and safe?' This marked the beginning of a 'romantic triad' that has now endured for five years, a relationship dynamic West discusses in her new book, Adult Braces.
A New Chapter of Love and Security
West, a comedian and women's rights activist known for her 2016 book Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman, now celebrates this unconventional arrangement. 'What I found on the other side was a way better life than before for me,' she asserted. 'I have two people who love me instead of one. And it's really just three people that live in a house instead of two.'
Amirsoleymani's Instagram biography reflects this commitment, listing her as living in the 'Olympic Peninsula' with West and Oluo, accompanied by a heart emoji. The Daily Mail has reached out to all parties for further comment, but West's story stands as a testament to personal growth and redefined love beyond traditional boundaries.
