Amanda Holden's Heartbreaking Revelation on Baby Loss
Amanda Holden, the renowned radio presenter and Britain's Got Talent judge, struggled to hold back tears during an emotional and deeply personal conversation with her best friend Alan Carr. The poignant discussion, featured in a new episode of their BBC renovation series Amanda & Alan's Greek Job, saw Amanda open up about the devastating loss of her son Theo, who was stillborn in 2011 at seven months.
A Mother's Grief and Acceptance
In the raw and unfiltered exchange, Amanda revealed her unique perspective on coping with the tragedy. She explained to Alan, "When we lost Theo, there wasn't one moment where I thought, 'Why has this happened to me?'" Instead, she described a profound sense of acceptance, viewing the experience as a temporary gift. "I just, the way I accepted it, was to say that he chose me, just for those few months to see what it was like to live and develop and be in the universe, and then the universe took him back," she shared, her voice trembling with emotion.
Amanda clarified that her belief is not rooted in traditional religion but in a more universal concept. "I don't think that's religious, but I let him go back, and that was my belief rather than like, he went back to heaven as such," she said. "I felt like he went back to the universe and he's out there, and he's still a part of our family." Alan Carr responded with empathy, acknowledging, "You've got to process it some way, you've got to make some kind of sense."
Family and Ongoing Legacy
Amanda, who is a proud mother to daughters Lexi, born in 2006, and Hollie, born in 2012, with her husband Chris Hughes, emphasised that Theo remains an integral part of their family. Fighting back tears, she asserted, "And I always, always say I'm a mother of three. Always. Because I am." She reflected on the brief time she had with Theo, stating, "That was the only way I could make sense of it, I was like, gosh, I was so lucky to have him for all that time. And even though he was born sleeping, he was perfect."
Overwhelming Support from Fans
Following the broadcast of the emotional clip, Amanda was inundated with messages of support and admiration from fans and followers. One person wrote, "Oh my, you have just brought comfort to so many through your own grief, you are a beautiful soul." Another commented, "She is such a special person, I am in awe of her strength and logic. So amazing." Additional praise included sentiments like "Beautifully said" and "Lots of love to you, Amanda. I agree with you, he is still with you and in the universe."
Previous Reflections on Life and Death
This is not the first time Amanda has spoken candidly about loss and mortality on the show. In a prior episode, she discussed her near-death experience after giving birth to her daughter Hollie. She recounted, "Without being too maudlin, I had a really difficult birth with Hollie. Which ended up with me in a coma, I died. I was in intensive care, and the baby was fine, and then when I came round, and everything was alright, I never stopped thinking about death after that and how easy and close it is to you, all the time."
Amanda emotionally added, "Life is so precious, and it can disappear from you so fast. I'm just like, make every second count, literally." She also shared her broader beliefs about the afterlife, saying, "When you lose someone, you believe, don't you, that they've gone somewhere. I'm not particularly religious, but I don't believe it's the end."
Amanda & Alan's Greek Job is currently available for streaming on BBC iPlayer, offering viewers an intimate glimpse into Amanda Holden's journey of grief, resilience, and healing.
