A woman has written to agony aunt Jane O'Gorman, saying she is fed up with her partner's obsession with group sex, swinging and orgies. Since 2024, he has organised four house parties where she slept with both male and female lovers while he filmed. Now he wants another party on July 4th, his birthday, but she is done.
Woman Feels Forced and Stale
She said: 'I enjoyed his games the first couple of times around. I found it horny performing for the camera and felt naughty and rude. But now it feels forced and stale. Been there, done that. The new guests he wants to invite over don’t excite me or turn me on. I’ve told him to count me out, but he thinks he can wear me down by keeping on.'
He took her for a meal and asked her a dozen times to reconsider. She left and stayed at a friend's flat for two nights. He was furious. Now his moods swing between charm and criticism, calling her selfish and boring. A neighbour told her he has organised the next party for July 4th.
Jane's Advice: Stand Firm
Jane says: 'You’re in a partnership and your guy has to see things from your point of view. He must understand that you previously went the extra mile, in order to make all of his dreams come true, but that doesn’t mean that you’re obliged to do it all again.'
She adds: 'If you’re not interested in playing any more games, then you’re fully entitled to walk away without a backward glance. You mustn’t feel pressurised, responsible or guilty in any way.'
Set Boundaries
Jane advises sitting him down and explaining how his nagging insults and irritates her. Make it clear that if he goes ahead with the party on July 4th, she will not attend and will be miles away. He will have to clean the property top to toe before she returns.
She also asks: 'Ultimately, how comfortable do you now feel about him swinging with other people? What about your sexual health? Has this relationship run its course? I suspect so.'
Second Problem: Princess Picky
Another reader wrote that his girlfriend was supposed to move in last March but hasn't brought her stuff. She says her parents don't approve and his flat is too far from her job. She pays half the bills but doesn't stay. Her friend says she's too much of a princess to leave home.
Jane says leaving home is a big step. If she isn't ready, she needs to be honest. Unless she commits by a certain date, he should consider getting a lodger and rethinking the relationship.
