Australian comedian Tanya Hennessy has candidly shared that becoming a first-time mother at the age of 40 to her daughter Scottie has profoundly changed her, admitting the journey has not been without its challenges. In a revealing interview with Stellar magazine, the 40-year-old entertainer described spending her entire pregnancy in a state of disbelief, a feeling she believes many who have experienced IVF or infertility will understand.
A Journey Marked by Disbelief and Protection
'I just didn't believe I was pregnant. I really struggled to say 'I'm pregnant' out loud. Never said it,' Tanya began, explaining her emotional turmoil. She would cover her body in public and wear baggy clothes, driven by a sense of self-protection and fear that the pregnancy might not culminate in a birth. 'I felt a sense of self-protection, thinking it might not happen or she might not arrive.'
The moment of her daughter's arrival via C-section was a shock. 'When I had the C-section and she arrived, I was just shocked she was there the whole time. When they put her on me, my whole world just shifted so dramatically.' She reflected on her luck in having her baby around that time of year, marking a significant emotional turning point.
Emotional Whiplash and Transformation
Now eight weeks into motherhood, Tanya says the emotional whiplash of finally becoming a parent after years of infertility has left her feeling both transformed and vulnerable. 'I feel like a different person, it's really hard to adjust. I'm still a bit scared to go outside. I'm so proud of her, I feel like I'm in a whirlpool... A really beautiful whirlpool,' she expressed.
She also touched on the complex emotions of moving from representing the infertility community to becoming a mother. 'Sometimes I find it really hard to talk about motherhood because I represented the infertility community for so long, I feel like people get cranky at me for becoming a mother in a way because I'm no longer representing the infertility community.'
Despite this, she feels a sense of wholeness. 'I'm glad the grief is gone, I feel really whole. That's not to say if you don't have children, or you can't have children, you won't be whole. But in my circumstances, in this moment right now, for me, I feel whole.'
Navigating Public Scrutiny at 40
Turning 40 in November, towards the end of her fertility journey, added another layer of public scrutiny and unsolicited opinions. Tanya has learned to tune out such comments. 'People say these sorts of things all the time. I want to be able to say 'I went through hell... this baby is a miracle.' I turned 40 in the middle of this and people ask whether it's OK being a parent at 40. I don't know any other way,' she admitted.
She emphasized her focus on gratitude. 'People will always say what they want to say and I will always just live in the fact that I got to finally have my girl. I'm really happy, I think I've been really sad for a long time. Sometimes it's stressful but it's the best thing I've ever done.'
Embracing the Present Moment
Tanya revealed she is now prioritizing enjoying precious moments with her daughter over planning her next career move. She criticized the societal pressure of 'what's-nextism.' 'I think a constant thing that people do, even when you don't have children, is ask the question of what's next as soon as one thing happens in your life. You just got married, what's next? You've just had a baby, what's next?' she vented.
'This what's-nextism is making people really anxious – can we just sit in the now? How fierce is it that I've had this baby against all the odds?' she added, highlighting her triumph over adversity.
A Seven-Year Fertility Struggle
In December, Tanya welcomed her first child, Scotland Poole, with husband Thomas Poole after a seven-year fertility struggle. She shared the joyful news on Instagram on Christmas evening, posting images of the couple cradling their daughter. 'Our beautiful baby girl is finally here,' she wrote. 'I'm in heaven, my heart is exploding. My baby is here. My baby. She's everything and more and I've never been so blissfully happy in my life.'
The arrival follows years of public openness about her fertility challenges. In 2022, Tanya expressed her frustration on social media. 'Getting pregnant is a f***ing full-time job and I am at my wits end,' she told followers. 'It hurts that my body won't do what I want it to. I'm bloody over it. Something that is seemingly so easy for so many, feels impossible for us. It's infuriating.'
Her journey from despair to joy underscores the emotional complexities of infertility and motherhood, offering a raw and relatable narrative for many facing similar struggles.
