Alberto Simoncini, a therapist specialising in grief counselling, says emotional losses and break-ups can feel like trying to climb Mount Everest, but hitting rock bottom is not necessarily a bad thing. He encourages people to see these experiences as opportunities for personal growth and emotional reconstruction.
“Sometimes we face a loss that simply cannot be ignored – it feels like a tsunami, destroying everything in its path,” Simoncini explains. “We’re generally afraid of ‘breaking’ because we don’t know what will happen next… But we need to surrender to it, build courage on top of that fear, in order to move forward.”
The author of The Courage to Break and 21 Mournings: Conversations with Pain describes grief as “shattered hope”. He says: “Overcoming that grief means reflecting on why the loss is causing us pain; we have to find ways to give a new meaning to a life experience.” Simoncini, who has overcome two bouts of deep depression, adds: “Only someone who has suffered from depression can truly understand what it means to be in a ‘black hole’.”
He compares grief to a physical wound: “Some wounds heal without leaving a trace, while others leave scars for life. It’s a journey, and once that journey has served its purpose, the grief subsides. However, some losses are so profound that we have to work through it every single day of our lives.” Simoncini advocates for mandatory therapy at age 18, saying “Getting to know yourself is the most difficult thing a human being can do – but it’s also the most useful.”
For emotional support, the Samaritans 24-hour helpline is available on 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org.
