A woman who grew up with an overwhelming desire to be blind has detailed how a psychologist manipulated her into pouring drain cleaner into her eyes, resulting in permanent blindness and severe psychological trauma. Jewel Shuping, from North Carolina, claimed she suffered from Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID), a condition where individuals believe they are meant to have a disability.
Childhood Urges and Early Actions
Shuping described her childhood as marked by intense urges to lose her sight. As a child, she would stare at the sun for hours after hearing it could damage her eyesight. In her teenage years, she began wearing dark sunglasses and learning braille, a practice she referred to as "blind-swimming," where she pretended to live without vision.
"The idea kept coming up in my head and by the time I was 21 it was a non-stop alarm that was going off," she said, explaining how the compulsion became overwhelming.
The Manipulative Encounter in Chicago
In 2006, Shuping traveled to Chicago to meet a man who claimed to be a psychologist. According to her account, he isolated her in his home for two weeks, instructing her not to contact family or friends. This period of isolation set the stage for the traumatic event that followed.
"He had me stay in his home for two weeks, telling me not to contact family or friends," she later wrote in an online post. "Then one day, he laid me down and used a rubber syringe to put drain cleaner in my eyes."
Delayed Medical Attention and Lasting Damage
The psychologist made her wait half an hour before taking her to the hospital, exacerbating the damage. The corrosive effects of the drain cleaner took months to fully destroy her sight, leaving her completely blind. Despite initially telling reporters that the actions were consensual, Shuping has since reconsidered this view.
Revelation of False Memories and Manipulation
In a recent post on the internet blog site Reddit, Shuping admitted that her memories of wanting to be blind as a child may have been false, twisted by the psychologist's influence. "The memories of wanting to be blind as a child were false ones, reality twisted to suit the narrative," she wrote. "I do not believe I would have ever considered blindness under any circumstances."
She alleged that the man manipulated her by reframing traumatic childhood experiences as proof she "wanted" blindness. "He would point to that and tell me this was me wanting to be blinded," she said, highlighting how he exploited her vulnerability.
Ongoing Trauma and Psychological Impact
Shuping has since undergone extensive trauma therapy and now lives with complex PTSD and social anxiety. The psychological scars from the incident continue to haunt her daily. "What this man did to me haunts me to this day," she wrote, emphasizing the lasting impact of the manipulation.
This case underscores the severe consequences of psychological manipulation and the vulnerabilities faced by individuals with disorders like BIID. It raises critical questions about ethical practices in mental health and the need for better safeguards to protect patients from exploitation.
